Life sucks

It's time to pull the plug on this blog.

I haven't had any inspiration to write something worth while
All I tend to do lately is piss and moan about my daughter's problems.
They don't seem to go away.
Tonight I once again sat with her, holding her trembling thin body, trying to assure her things will be alright...
I can understand that she cannot believe that right now.

So I'll pay her overdue bills once again, pull Boo out of Day Care, for the time being. Babysit her full time again, until Bugs gets caught up, or gets a better paying job so she can afford it again.

Bugs is going to apply at a new chicken franchise here in town Zaxby's tomorrow. For a management position.
Her job at Taco Mac is just too much of a hassle. Her shifts are weird, like 11-2 and then a two hour break, and then from 5 til 11 or 12. She lives too far away, and the gas is too expensive for her to run home on her "break" She comes home exhausted. Some days she makes decent tips, other times people stiff her, something that's a new experience for her. People being complete morons when it comes to tipping. You simply cannot live on a day to day salary, as opposed to a paycheck every two weeks. You can if you had a cushion to begin with, but she doesn't have that.

Daddy's father found me on Face book and asked to be my "friend" He and Nana want to see the baby and don't understand why they can't.
I wrote him back that I cannot add him, that I will not go behind my daughter's back and let them visit Boo. After a few posts back and forth, and I told him not to ask anymore, that they would just have to wait for their son to get his shit together, pay what he owes the mother of his child, and perhaps then we can negotiate something.

Anyway, you've heard it all before. This blog is getting bogged down with stuff no one wants to hear.

For those of you who would like to stay in touch, you know my email.

For those of you who want to give me a few thousand bucks...let me know and I'll send you my bank account number.

Just kidding.

Have a good life y'all

SGMKJ

Sunday, August 16

We finally have some overcast that is making life a bit more bearable outside. That slight breeze is welcome too.
Boo and I took a little stroll. Primarily to get her pooped so she would take a long nap.
She loves to wander in other peoples yards, look for bugs, check out the flowers. So more often than not, the neighbors will open their doors and talk with her. It's really kind of cute.
Especially now that she can answer their questions.
She surprised us this morning by reciting the names of the months, in perfect order. She also knows the days of the week now.
I guess she learned that at Day Care.
It's amazing to watch her grow and get so smart.
She loves to sing. LOUD. In the car, in the bath, in bed. She's got perfect pitch too, amazing!

So we enjoy her when she is here. Although she is on one of those hate opa streaks, doesn't want to have anything to do with him. It took both me and Bugs to explain to him that it wasn't personal, that it's a phase. (He must have forgotten about this terrible two's thing)

This week was reasonably calm. Bugs only freaked out once, but then, she is very tired and still pretty stressed out.The job is getting a bit easier, now that she has established herself, but working as a server, trying to pay your bills on time when you're not certain how much money you're going to make, that's a challenge.
I wish they would pay wait persons the minimal wage. $2.50 is just insane. Especially for the ones who get the lousy schedules. And it's hard work too. You deal with some nasty people.

We've decided to just put an end to the car accident issue. Neither insurance company is willing to pay. The guy who hit her's insurance claims SHE was at fault. Her lawyer thinks it's a waste of money and effort to pursue it. He'd rather have a case with injuries, of course. More money to be made.
What a world we live in.

So now she's dealing with the house. When she gets her paycheck she has to fax copies of two of them to her mortgage company, so they can re figure her loan.
HA!
I don't think she'll be able to refinance it, even with the new program. She just doesn't make enough right now.

The past few weeks she has been started to get migraines. She has a follow up appointment with Doctor Tim on Thursday.

Everyone else is reasonably fine. My parents are doing well. Mom sounds better ever time I call. I hope she doesn't overdo it. She complains that my father doesn't have the oomph to do anything.
I know. I've got one of those too.

Yesterday I received a DVD from my brother in NZ. His daughter's wedding film. It was so wonderful to watch. My brother is just such a sweet guy. It was very touching for me to see his kind face with that white hair and beard. And my sister in law watching with that delightful smile on her face. It's great to watch your kind get married. I haven't had that experience...yet... So I am so glad they had a nice wedding, that their other daughter was able to come from England and be there as well.
I wish the couple well. And I hope my brother and sister in law will be able to enjoy a little grand child one of these days.

So here we are, smack in the middle of August.

I can't wait for October, when the heat will be gone, the colors will come back.

SGMKJ

Surprise!

Bugs had the day off yesterday and was in a good space to sit herself down and get some phone calls out of the way.

She called her mortgage company first, to see if her house sold at the auction.

Surprise!!!

They pulled it off the market. They are now offering her one of the new modified loans (thank you Mr. Obama!!) and will be sending her the info package in a few weeks. She might end up paying only $700/month. That's less then her rent now.

But, there is the "other loan". She called them too, and they also were able to tell her they could lower her payment as well.

So now what?

She's been out of that house for almost a year now. I feel so guilty for pushing her to find another place, so afraid the sheriff would come knocking on her door and evict her.
But then, who knew?? Damn, she could have stayed and saved tons of money. :<(

She is excited. We're sitting back and will be keeping our mouth shut, and watch the show.

She also called her insurance company about the accident. Her agent was surprised that the other company refused to pay. He suggested she contact the State Insurance Board. He told her the process would be very slow, but it would pay off in the end. So, no lawyer.

The roller coaster cars are on their way up.....

SGMKJ!

Wake Up! (and now for something completely different

A_wakeupcall_call.wmv

Friend of mine sent me this today, See if you can copy/paste it and watch it.

Here are my thoughts about this:


Okiedokie

So what are we supposed to do, get everyone to have tons of kids? Don't look at me, this factory is closed!

I can stand back and look at the big picture of the universe. Huge changes have happened through the ages, from the beginning of time. It's inevitable.

Changes like the ice ages, Jurasic times etc, the Romans conquering most of Europe, Germans, Huns, Kelts in the middle ages, all moving around Europe driving others out, settling in themselves; the frigging Vikings, plundering and taking over, the American Indians banned from their land to make room for US. The Dutch stealing people from Africa and selling them and creating a new culture in America. How about the industrial revolution? The Inquisition?

These mind boggling changes have gone on forever.

We cannot expect life to stay the way it is, too many dynamics going on in the world. Too few strong and sensible leaders to keep it all going in the right direction. What IS the right direction anyway?

They've been worried in Holland since the early 60s. They've watched and welcomed these foreigners with open arms, giving them homes, and money, free health care. Why? And now everyone bitches about it. Now that the government is starting to show brown faces.
Too late! Holland is a very small country, a very crowded country. It's mind boggling to realize how many people STILL continue to jam into this small country, already FULL of people. A country about a 13th of the size of the entire state of Georgia.

Going back to my hometown is a trip! Back in the old neighborhoods where my parents grew up, it's like walking around in Ankara! You no longer smell the cheese and the fried fish in the street markets, it's all cumin, cardamon, and curry. And women covered up from head to toe. And men with worry beads in their hands.

My parents watch this with shaking heads and big eyes, they do not really understand what has happened to their old neighborhoods. I guess for them it's already happened. My generation grew into the phenomena, or with it.

Frankly, I find it interesting to watch all this develop. All around us we see history in the making. There's no stopping it, it just IS.

I am not FOR it, I am not AGAINST it, I think it's an inevitable course of nature.

Just think about the issue with our Postal services...because of computers/email on it's way out the door like the Pony Express. The future demands progress in technology, science...who the hell knows where it will all ends up.

It doesn't frighten me, Our generation and the one of our kids won't really see the impact, We'll be dead, the kids will go with the flow. You hope.

For now I am happy to just pay attention to my family, our needs right here and now.

After all, we're less than a granule of sand in the universe.

And who knows? Some idiot might decide to just end it all with a few well places nuclear bombs.

Then what? We worried ourselves for nothing?


Enjoy your day, love the people around you.

Life is short enough as it is.

SGMKJ!

Silly Goose

AAAAAAAAAHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

This is my Fake Smile Face

C'mere, gimme a kiss!






Uh Oh...I think I peepeed in my bucket

Silly Goose Face

There goes the neighborhood!

When Boo is here in the afternoon/evening, I try to take her on a "stroll'" after her bath. Been doing that since she was a wee baby, and it was/is always a very calming event for both of us.

We usually run into one of my neighbors. Don, who has a small dog, Buddy.
Boo always gets so excited to see Buddy. They both squeal when they see each other, Buddy "talking" and pulling his leash; Boo with her little arms reaching for him, screeching: BUDDEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Don is the neighborhood know-it-all. Also a member of the dratted HOA. Through him I keep abreast of the goings on in our little park. Yesterday he told me that at two of the homes are in foreclosure.
Gasp!
I was just wondering when it would start happening here!

The first one to fall was a divorcee who's husband stopped paying her alimony. She couldn't keep up with the payments, she tried to sell the house, but it didn't happen.

Another house is owned by a couple from New York. She told me they were selling because of their dog.
Yeah right.
They have a large beagle. This dog is in desperate need of a good training school. He's also not the type of dog you keep couped up in a small house all day. This guy wants to RUN, which he never gets to do.
So that was her excuse to me. Unfortunately, that's not the story.
So tragic. Who needs this crap when you are our age?

Another house sits empty since the owner died three years ago. She was at war with her only child, and bequeathed her entire estate to her church. Of course the daughter is fighting this, and thus nobody wins.
Two of my neighbor ladies next to me have both been forced to move to an assisted living facility for health reasons.

Their homes are empty, not for sale (yet).

Many folks have problems with their buildings. The guy who built this neighborhood used cheap labor and cut costs where he could. We are starting to feel the pinch.
You remember my leaking patio door?
Of course our warranties are expired by now.
Damn.

About 20% of the population owns their house out right. What a luxury that must be, knowing you OWN your home and don't OWE anything on it.

Three houses do have "for sale" signs on their lawns. No takers, however.

Don tells me they are all asking too much for it. Even though I know the value of these homes have gone DOWN since last year. Mine dove down about $20.000!

Ouch!

If you're wondering why I'm blabbering on an ond about my neighborhood....

We have the day OFF. I am forcing myself NOT to leave the house for ANYTHING today.
Instead I cleaned the bathrooms, tidied up a little.

Trying NOT to think about what's-her-name-with-what-problems today.

So far so good.

She hasn't called me ....yet....a good sign...

She has a short day today (11-2) and should be getting in touch with her lawyer and...OOPS...wasn't gonna do that! :>)

It's hotter 'n hell outside, in the 90s.

I pulled something around my left shoulder blade while cleaning the floor behind the toilet...excuses, excuses...I'm going to lie down and read.

SGMKJ!

Whew

We're doing okay.

She is feeling much better this morning, and more positive.

I could even hear a little smile in her voice.

Good thing too, now at least I could call my parents without having to lie about anything.

:>)

Still......we're not out of the woods by a long run.

SGMKJ!

Welcome to our black hole......

Thanks to those of you who have emailed me or left posts on Face book.
Things are pretty bleak here.

Not to sound like a complete drama queen, it feels like things couldn't get worse, but they do.
It's about Bugs. You can blame it on her not so wise decisions in the past, you can blame it on me for coddling her and bailing her out, blame it on Wheelie for allowing me to enable her, but the fact is, she has reached the bottom of the barrel.
The past week has been nothing but tears, hollow eyes, expressionless face.
All her energy goes to her job, in order to be a good employee and make tips. She stays late at night waiting for those assholes who feel they need to stay and linger over one beer. She needs her tip, so she has to stay. Last night it was 1:30 when she pulled up in my driveway.

Her rent is overdue, she's got $400 bucks to her name.
Her house will be auctioned off on Tuesday on the steps of City Hall. She is being bugged by debtors.
Her utilities are overdue. Her fridge pretty empty.

PH, who shares her home and bed most days isn't paying part of the rent. He has his reasons, like he's paying his mom's mortgage, big truck and bike payments, blah blah.
I finally had the chance to talk with him yesterday. Told him how worried we were, as she drove off to her job, face like a dishrag. He sounded sweet, supportive.

He's the cautious type. Not like us, we jump and go, hell or high water.
He has two job possibilities, while he hates working for the old boss. It takes him a while to make up his mind???
He is also considering giving the Navy a chance. Well, at this point he has our blessings. Good riddance.
Another manipulator? Snake in the grass? Or someone who's sensible?
Well, if he IS sensible, he should sleep in his own bed, live in his own house.

Now mind you, my daughter IS a drama queen. Her tears come easily. Freaks out at the drop of a pin. I blame myself for bailing her out every time she needed to.
And now the well is empty. My credit cards are at their limits. I have no cash.

So perhaps it's sinking in that, yes, Virginia, it's YOUR life, YOUR problem.

On Thursday she went to see my doctor, spoke with him at lenght, he gave her something for her nerves, since she didn't want any antidepressants. He wants her to gain 20 pounds. See him again in two weeks. He suggested she wait with the smoking quitting, no need for extra stress, he said, we can do that later. He wants her to EAT.

On Friday she did a few right things, went to DFACS and applied for everything she thought she was entitled to; help with daycare cost, food stamps, medicare for her and Boo. It might help, it might not, she might not qualify. But at least she made the effort.

She has called and left messages at a lawyer's office. No calls back. We need to go to court to fight the insurance company, who now says the accident was HER fault. (HUH??)
We also discovered that she lapsed her own insurance payment for a day or so, and was not insured when the accident happened, so THEY won't pay her either.

In order to get her car back I used my last credit card, paid the damn thing and the car rental as well.



So at 5 pm on Friday she calls me, wants me to come along and see some apartments she saw for rent.

WHY???

I humored her and went. I questioned her reason for looking, she can't afford to break her lease and move. She was pretty despondent. Her driving scared me. Taking wide turns, almost missing my driveway. I told her so. Told her she scared me.
After she was at DFACS she drove around all day looking for rentals. As opposed to going home and taking a good nap!



Yesterday when she was on her way to work, she called: Mom, I love you, thank you for going over and beyond for me...goodbye...

Scared me shittless, what to think of a call like that? I envisioned her aiming the car at the nearest tree.

I can SO understand people who commit suicide. Even the people you think are just fine, no problems. You never know what goes on inside a persons soul, never.
But I can understand it.

Strangely enough, my own troubles started when I was her age. More than once there was that black hole.
But I always had the balls to get through. Lots of tears, lots of worries, but in the end I always pulled myself up again.

I sincerely hope my parents forget to call me this week (it's their turn) I do not want to worry them with my tales of dread, they don't need it. I can't lie to my mother, she will know something is wrong.

Sometimes you need to take things day by day, sometimes hour by hour.
And that's where I am right now. Getting through the day playing with a two year old who's also bouncing off the wall. Not giving in to her whining...popsicle?...Binkie???....Elmo????
She finally fell asleep while I sat at the end of her bed (the one I slid off the other day and nearly broke my hip, bruising my back and hurting my pride) singing songs.

Bugs is working until 5 today. She is good at her job, extremely conscientious, if she hangs on she can really make good money, and work herself upward in the company.
She is second guessing herself now too about leaving her other job. Wondering if she should break down and go back to the better salary, the people she calls her friends (but never called after she left) the abusive boss.
Her new job is 25 miles away, so she pays ten bucks per day in gas.

Time has come for her. It's Do or Die...no pun intended. God, that sounds awful.
But it's up to her. We can only do so much, and we have. We love her to pieces, and it's so incredibly painful to see her like this.

One good thing is that Wheelie is coming out of his shell, and has been "on my side"

We'll leave the rest up to the higher powers, the common sense, and good thoughts of y'all.

SGMKJ!

Much better

Took Boo back to the doc on Wednesday and she was doing much better. Her Xrays showed a ghost of a virus, but no pneumonia.
She might be a candidate for Asthma, since she had eczema as a baby. But they don't (or can't) test her for that yet, so we're just going to watch "it" from now on.
She's done with her prednisone and doesn't need her albuterol anymore, so the nebulizer (on loan, thank you, doc) will go back when we see her again coming Wednesday.

And here we are, another weekend, almost the end of July. I'm not going to say it anymore, (time is just going too damn fast)
Bugs is working a regular schedule now, but disappointed that she is not getting the "good" tables and not making much in the way of tips. So she told her boss she is ready for the big time, and told the other waitresses to stop the "treat the newcomer like shit" stuff and let's get the job going.

Her car is all fixed and ready to go, but the insurance company is dragging it's feet and giving her the run around. I suggested she call them and threaten to get an attorney involved. They promised to get things moving.
You see, the guy's car (if is WAS his car) was insured, but he's not on the policy. The company has been trying to get a hold of him(???They have the police report, what more is needed?.)
HA! He's probably an illegal and no longer around. But Bugs is becoming a little more aggressive (about time) and hopefully she will get her car back (and me reimbursed for the rental)

My brother and his wife took my parents back to their/our old neighborhood. Many streets have been leveled and the rest is waiting to be. It was a bit heart breaking for my folks to see how everything was being torn up and vandalized, and weeds everywhere.

The picture of them in front of our old church is especially sad, as you can see, someone painted the number 666 on the wall. The church is no longer in use, but you'd think someone would take that off.
The building has always been butt ugly, and now with those blue gates it looks like some medieval prison. Brrr...

My cousin from Spain was visiting last week and took some pictures of my parents. My mom looks pretty worn out. She has lost a lot of weight (something nobody bothered to tell me) and frankly, it really shocked me to see that sad face, so hollow and drawn. My father, on the other hand, looks good. That twinkle in his eye, and the silly grin. Obviously so happy to have her home again.

It is really hitting them hard that they have become so dependent all of a sudden. Even a short trip in their carts to the store is no longer an option. Nor is going to church, which is across the street.

Needless to say their situation is creating a bit of worry here. I so wish to go and see them.
It's not a matter of money, hell, that's what credit cards are for, but I can't see my way out of leaving Bugs, Boo and Wheelie to their own devises, especially with the little one being sick.

But, nothing we can do about it I guess, que sera, sera.

I took Boo to the park this morning, they were charging $3.00 for parking. No way! I told them we were just going to see the ducks, and they let me through. Apparently there was a huge softball thing going on, including donkey rides, barbecues, huge baloonslide things.
Boo had a ball climbing on one of these monstrosities and me, my heart in my throat, watching her climb all the way to the top and bouncing all the way down, squealing with delight. This child has absolutely no fear! Good for her!

We did go see the ducks, but it being so early, they weren't very eager to interact with us.
So we played a little longer, took a stroll through the "woods" and went home again. Just in time too, the entire parking lot was full!

I gave her some lunch, we drew some pictures and played with some stickers, and off to bed it went for a good nap.

I am pooped, and it's only 12:30

*lol*

SGMKJ!

Now what?

Spent most of the morning at the pediatrician's office with a wheezing, coughing, little child.
She had not slept well at all, and she wouldn't stop fussing and crying.
Since it was Bugs' first full day at work, I took the baby to the doctor, who was very worried, took her right in and gave her two albuterol treatments. Then Chest Xrays to see if she had pneumonia. And put her on steroids Prednisone.
They couldn't tell me what was wrong, could be asthma, could be a virus.

The little twerp was a trooper, took her medicine and liked the nebulizer. She will even hold it herself. We have to give her this treatment every 4 hours, until they are certain what's wrong with her.
Another appointment tomorrow morning.


SGMKJ!

Humpday

My parents are down in the dumps. They sounded awful when I talked with them yesterday.
My dad doesn't feel like going out for a stroll. He isn't interested in the Tour de France, he even doesn't watch soccer anymore.

Now THAT is weird.

I think they are both fed up. Literally.

It doesn't help that my sister and her manfriend have decided to spend their vacation trying to sail to England. It must scare my parents. Frankly, it kind of scares me too. They are excellent sailers, and they wouldn't go if the weather was bad. But the North Sea can be so damn fickle.
So that's one big worry for them. Not having anything to DO (they now have help with the household chores) must bore the pants off them.

And here I am, fretting about it all, and not being able to just hop on a plane and go see them. With Bugs starting her job, PH not being able to babysit, because he still works his ass of at the old boss, open to close almost every day, because one of the managers is off on her honeymoon, and another one broke his foot, yadda yadda, yadda...not my problem, but it doesn't help.
Someone would need to take care of Wheelie, not 24/7, but around dinner time, going to bed and getting up time. He doesn't want me to hire a 'nurse'. I guess it's not just MY decision, and I have to take everyone's issues into account.

Yesterday I put together a simple cubby shelf for Boo's room. I used a regular screw driver and it really did a number on my shoulder and my elbow. This morning that side was painful enough to take Advil.
But the cubby looks cute!
:>)

I am obviously not in much of a mood to write. But I didn't want to left y'all hanging either.

For those of you who pray, and for those of you who send good vibes, or hug a tree, please keep a friend of mine in thoughts as he is going through a second knee replacement operation.

In the meantime, I've done my best today, cleaned an vacuumed the bedroom, even washed the windows. Time for some loitering and noshing.

SGMKJ!

Happy Birthday Best Boy; Reprise

My son's 32 Ford Coupe at the Bonneville Salt Flats in 2002. Engine pretty much built from scratch

Into cars at a young age.

Again I am repeating one of my stories from last year.
It's my son's 37th birthday today

July 12, 1972 was one of the most important days of my life.
That was the day my son was born.

Puri and I had been married for three years when I became pregnant. I am sure quite a surprise to some of my relatives in Holland, since we got married in such a hurry :>)

For three years we'd been using a rather controversial birth control method. I still don't understand the fine points of it, but it had something to do with astrology. Something Puri was very much into those days. When the moon was in a certain house, I was 'safe'.
Well, we miscalculated one day :>)
Perhaps it was a cloudy night?

We really were surprised. When I came out of the doctor's office I was crying, and Puri thought I was upset. In the parking lot, walking back to our car, he asked me if I wanted an abortion.

God no!

You have to understand that we were hardly in a position to bring a child into the world. He was working, but only off and on. I was working as a sales clerk at a large department store, The Emporium, which in those days was the big competitor of Macy's, at least in California. Puri was into horse racing. Not particularly the gambling, although he did spend a few bucks on that too, but he was convinced he could develop a system......a sure way to pick the winner, every time!

Oh Lordy, that damn card system of his. This was in the beginning of the computer age. He used them at Stanford University to develop his "system". He dabbled, and designed, and worried. His horse racing was a priority.

He once told me, if the house is on fire, don't bother getting anything out but the horse racing card system!

Looking back our life was to say the least, picturesque.

We lived in a tiny cottage, no larger than a single wide trailer, really. But it was a darling little place. A small kitchen (no oven) stove on top of the fridge, built in cupboards, a small living room with room for a trundle bed, a dresser, and later two fold up Cost Plus chairs. When we pulled out the bed at night we had to move everything else into the kitchen. There was a small bathroom, with a bathtub that tended to back up when it rained, and we used the space by the back door as our closet. The whole interior was covered with wood paneling, windows on both sides.
This was our home, ours and our puppy Sheba, and our cage of rainbow finches. Our little caboose. Or, as a friend of ours once exclaimed: Holy Shit! Sirhan Sirhan has a bigger cell than THIS!

We lived on a hill, there were three homes along a dirt road, our landlady lived in the first one, and at the end of the road were two more homes. These three properties were pretty much the last holdouts of an ever spreading developing area with apartment buildings. In later years the entire hillsides were built up, but these three houses are still holding their ground and are still there.

Our landlady was a wonderful woman, she was a widow. Her husband used to be the mayor of the town we lived in. She had three sons. We became part of the family, celebrated Christmas and Thanksgiving with them and their friends. She let me use her washer and dryer, and her oven if I wanted to bake cookies. I still use her recipe for twice baked potatoes. She was a teacher at a local College. For years after we exchanged holiday cards, until about four years ago the cards stopped coming. Either she is too old to write now, or, more likely passed on.

(I learned not too long ago that she suffers from Alzheimers and lives in a nursing home)

Her youngest son became a journalist and we ALMOST met up when we lived in California recently. He wrote for the Sacramento Bee. The oldest son was already gone from home when we lived there, and the middle son went crazy after he experienced the riots at the Chicago convention in 1968, and eventually ended his life by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Our first experience being close to someone who went from being a bright handsome promising young man to a drug crazed lost soul, who in the end could not face his world.

The little house was made of wood, painted dark brown with white trim, it sat in a beautiful garden next to the main house where our landlady lived. There was a huge plum tree and a persimmon tree, as well as a grove of eucalyptus trees and many blooming hedges and bushes.
Spring time was incredible, with everything in bloom.

When we became pregnant we had to look for another place to live.
The house at the end of the road was empty and very mysterious. The people who built and owned it lived there until their deaths. They were quite old when they died, in their nineties.
The guy who lived next door to them was their nephew, who was the heir and executor of their 'estate' His name was Bob, he had a dog named Blackie. He drove a Chevy El Dorado. A little fireplug of a fellow, never married, always very serious, didn't know about deodorant.
He never thought of selling the house or renting it out. It just sat there, something for him to fret about.

It was a spooky place, because he had it wired so that lights would go on at night, and radios would play at certain times. He had a fire alarm on the roof that would go off every time we had a thunder storm, and the alarm was LOUD!

Some friends and us ventured to take a look one evening, in the dark, and as we peeked into the sun room, a radio started playing somewhere in the house, we all jumped. We peeked into one of the rooms we were able to reach, and it was a bedroom (we later found out it was really the dining room, but when the folks got too old to climb the steep stairs, they probably moved their bed downstairs.) The bed was still in there, with the indentations of the people who used to sleep there. On the dresser there were still grooming items, a brush, a comb, a mirror and a few hair pins.

(Puri told me recently that after I left him and he lived there by himself, he experienced paranormal activity, which I believe!)

The house was on top of the hill, where you could look in all directions. There was a trail down below that went to around the property towards a reservoir, Waterdog Lake.

It was very quiet. The grounds must have been beautiful at one time, as you could still see the outlines of the gardens and terraces. Apparently they worked in their garden from sun up to sun down. It was a huge lot. On one slope behind the house each spring thousands of daffodils would bloom. A huge pepper tree sat at one corner of the house, the limbs almost reaching some of the living room windows.

I decided to get friendly with Bob, who was a rather paranoid little guy. And when we finally got to know each other a little better, I asked him if he would rent us the house.
Our land lady convinced him that it would be a good idea, and that we were good people.

He said yes. He had to remove the stuff from the house though, and it took four large moving vans to take everything out.

The rent was $200 a month....

When we finally were allowed to have a look inside we were blown away. The place was in pristine condition. Hardwood everywhere, all the floors, the ceiling. Redwood window casings. Redwood built in cupboards, a huge three part sun room, a large kitchen with an antique stove, which worked perfectly. Across from the front door through the hall were a few steps down to another bathroom and a small storage room.

It had two bedrooms upstairs and a bathroom, complete with a bath and shower. There were huge walk-in closets with little windows and built in dressers, and next to the main bedroom was a smaller room, which we ended up using as a nursery.

The basement was huge. Ran all the way under the house.

You entered the house (the basement was above ground) and went up four steps. On the right was the dining room (the room that was used as the bedroom) On the left there was the living room, two dramatic steps down. The acoustics in that room were amazing. I used to stand on top of the steps, which were like a stage, belting out Abba and Four Tops songs.

The living room had windows on all three sides. It had a huge fireplace, about ten feet wide. It was cemented shut because of a bee problem at one time, so unfortunately we were never able to use it.

There was a hallway in the middle. Bee problem there too, but we were never able to get rid of the bees there, when it got hot in the summer we had honey dripping from the ceiling though.

Next to the dining room was the breakfast room, also with built in redwood cupboards and glass doors, then the kitchen, and off the kitchen the three sun rooms, one large space divided into three rooms, the outside rooms were open and were screened. We used one room at one point to house our seven puppies for a while, and used the other side as a hot house where I grew my marigolds from seeds. The middle room was our ironing/play room.

Now picture this. We had nothing! We had two folding chairs and a dresser. I had a little rocking chair. We had shelves on bricks for the LP collection and the stereo, and a little cabinet for the TV.
We moved all our belongings in a wheelbarrow. I only took about ten trips.

The dining room still had the table, a beautiful round oak table with chairs. The breakfast room had a small table with chairs as well. As I looked at some of the pictures I still have I remember now that there were also two large oriental rugs. A blue one in the living room and a red one in the dining room. I hung my guitar on the wall, along with all my handmade wall hangings, bought many plants, among them a selection of different ferns, which I found in a remote 'fern ranch' near the coast, and a few fast growing Swedish Ivy plants. The plants thrived in that house. I had a button fern that grew about three feet wide.

We bought a mattress and box spring, and a second hand dresser, which I repainted.

We used a piece of plywood on cinder blocks for a coffee table. My parents sent a bolt of fabric for curtains, which I sewed myself. The curtain rods were already there. Beautiful cast iron rods with gorgeous fixtures. There was a central heating system, but no air conditioning. Opening all the windows at night enabled the fresh air to blow through the entire house.

Puri was working for a record distributer at the time. We owned a VW bug, named "old Blue" which I bought from my uncle for $400 after my cousin (cough) ran all over the world in it all through college.

Old Blue finally died, but we sold it to Wheelie, who happened to live across the road from us at the time with his second wife and his two kids. (We don't believe in coincidence, people! :>) and had a grand old time rebuilding the engine and making it run for many more years.


We were pretty content in the house, even though there were some spooky elements to it.
Not in the least the small storage room off the extra bathroom, where a few large trunks were stored, and it was lined with shelves filled with boxes of laundry detergent, OLD stuff from the 40s at least.

Had I known what I know now, I would have confiscated all that stuff, which is probably worth some money these days. We never had the nerve to open the trunks though, who knows what was in those.

We also found a fully stocked work bench in the basement. Many of the tools were hand made, and my father had a field day in that basement. Drawers full of old towels with crochet trim, and those wonderfully colorful retro table cloths. I found a set of colorful dishes, which I smashed into pieces, for a mosaic coffee table project I was planning. The table was never made, and in later years I realized that I smashed a bunch of valuable Fiesta ware into smithereens.

There was an armoire upstairs on the landing which still held a bunch of clothes and old shoes.
Wheelie's then wife was enamoured with that stuff and took a few of those dresses. I rather left the stuff alone. I really never opened that armoire, just didn't feel polite somehow.

But I digress......big time.....:>)

My pregnancy went smoothly. I saw a different doctor at Kaiser Permanente every month, but that didn't bother me. It cost us $85 TOTAL to have prenatal care PLUS the birth and well baby visits. Amazing!

In those days there were no prenatal classes, and my only source of information was a small paperback book that told me exactly how things worked. I had a basic idea what to expect from the delivery and I was confident that it would be a cinch.

My parents came over to visit late that June. The baby was due around the first of July. Of course this child was almost two weeks overdue! I remember that as a last resort Puri and I decided to go play some catch football at the beach at Half Moon Bay. Didn't exactly help. :>)

But finally the day was there. My water broke in the middle of the night. So off we went to the hospital. My mom was sure we would be back. Not!

The weather that week was horrendous. The temperature reached 106°. My parents spent their days with most of their clothes off in the cool basement.

I really don't remember much about my labor, except that a lady in the next room was screaming like a banshee. The doctor wanted to 'ease' my pain a little and proceeded to come in with a HUGE syringe, at which point Puri decided to leave the room (and who the hell knows, the hospital.) I received a shot through my woo woo, right into my cervix.
Don't ask, this is how I remember it.
The pains went away, I slept...

Next thing I know I was being rolled into the delivery room. The doctor who delivered my son was a stranger to me. The nurse was an older German lady, who I remember to be rather enthusiastic.

Yoo are doink great! POOSH POOOOSH!!! Yes, yes!! POOSH POOOOOSH!! No drugs! Good for Yooo!!! POOSHHHHHH!!!!

Puri chickened out and didn't come into the delivery room with me, but he was standing out in the hall and we had this commentary going back and forth.

The doc decided to 'cut' me, I guess things didn't go quick enough for him.

So after a long time of poooshing, there he was!!!

It's a BOY! I yelled out to the hall.

I was ecstatic. I was so damn happy.

The doc sewed me up (45 stitches, ouch) and after that I really don't remember much, they gave me Tylenol III, which knocked me on my ass for the next two days. The codeine really did a number on my head. Everyone in the hospital spoke Dutch. I was in lala land.

In those days you were not allowed any visitors except the daddies. So my parents were not allowed to see me, but they were able to see the baby in the nursery.

I remember Puri looking into the bassinet after he was born, and really squinting his eyes and examining the child. Like he was looking at an interesting bug.

Our baby's right ear was folded over, and he did look rather comical. But to me he was the most gorgeous baby on earth.

After three days we went home. There is a video of us coming home.

In Old Blue.

No car seat

No seat belts.

Me holding baby in my arms.

Trying to get out of the car without any help. OUCH OUCH OUCH...Puri oblivious, My dad filming, my mom wringing her hands....

Walking up those stairs, my mom oowing and aahing...OUCH OUCH OUCH

Since we had no money to buy anything for the baby, my parents and my aunt and uncle got this basinette from the Goodwill store. My mom "dressed this cradle with white cotton on the inside, and blue gingham with lace trim around the outside, like a long skirt. They made a little canopy that hung like two wings. Mom made sets of little sheets and pillow cases. This first grand baby of their was going to sleep in a true cradle! :>)

I was very much aware that my world had just made a huge shift. As new moms tend to feel, overwhelmed, scared, and just filled to the brim with so much love for this little new human being....

My parents had to leave a few days later.

I remember standing at the bedroom window upstairs where I could watch the car leave and drive down the dirt road...

Standing there an overwhelming feeling of sadness came over me....I had never felt so lonely in my entire life....I can still see myself standing there at the window, holding my son in my arms, waving my parents goodbye as Old Blue drove down the dirt road.....
I held on to this little bundle and it felt like it was him and me, together, forever. This is it, kiddo, I thought, here you are, and oh, how I love you!

~*~*~

And here we are...today...

I can still feel that horrible loneliness....as the child that meant the world to me, the boy I adored, nurtured, loved....called my "Best Boy".... the curious and adventurous toddler, whose first words were: light! train! and ME! The little rascal who would 'run away from home' scaring the daylights out of us, one time found under my landlady's porch with the new kittens, another time scooped up by a cop, he was halfway to Waterdog Lake! And he was only 1 1/2 years old then!
The little kid who was so darn clever, so naughty, and couldn't do anything wrong in our eyes...


He no longer wants to have anything to do with me....

His reasons are understandable. I made some unwise decisions along the way....In my quest for the perfect mate/family I must have neglected him somehow...at least he feels that way...All I know is that I tried to do the best I knew how.

He's all grown up now. He has done some incredible things. I am so proud of his accomplishments. He is so very talented in so many fields.

My hope is that in time he will come to understand why things happened. That he will be able to forgive me.
That he will be able to call me Mom again.

In the meantime I wish him a very Happy 36th (37th this year) Birthday. Wish him much much happiness, good health.

SGMKJ!

Happy Birthday Papa

Last year I wrote a piece about my father.
It's his 89th birthday today.
I thought I'd repeat the story.

My very earliest memories of my father was when I was about 4 or 5. We were visiting old friends of mom and dad's, and their children (I vaguely remember there being two girls, older than myself) were playing some sort of new board game with my father. When he lost, I felt horrible for him. Not really embarrassed, but just felt he should have won from these girls. After all, my father was God in my eyes, he could do anything!

Most of my childhood's memories are to be found in the many photo albums I have laying around.
And lately, I often I sit and visit these albums. I use a magnifying glass, as the old pictures are very tiny, and I've discovered that when you use a magnifying glass, you can see the facial expressions and other goodies otherwise not visible.
I also found that if you concentrated on those pictures long enough your memories would come flooding back.
True! Try it sometimes!

We had a pretty extensive family. Both on my mother's side, and on my father's side. There were tons of cousins, aunts, uncles, no grandmas, but two grandpas. Many family visits, birthday celebrations, and yes, funerals, of course.

My brothers, sister and I had a very happy and carefree childhood. My parents were the perfect couple, devout Catholics, mom was the homemaker, papa was the breadwinner.
Simple as that.
And they adored each other, they still do.

I can't speak for my siblings, but I never in my entire life saw or heard them fight, or squabble.
They did not curse, they did not raise their voices.
Mom kept the house in spic-span shape, papa made sure things got fixed, and together they raised the four of us, seemingly effortless.


The four of us were allowed to be children, we wore great clothes (for a great deal made by mom, she was a terrific seamstress), always looked clean and fresh (she used hair gel on the boys, which made them look a tad starched, but VERY tidy)
She had her cleaning/housekeeping ritual, which in later years made me rebel and drive me insane! *S*

But I digress...

In his younger days my father was a very handsome fellow. (He still is of course) He was strong, he was athletic, he was very good looking, had pitch black wavy hair, and he drove a huge motor bike for his job.
He wore a funny looking hat/helmet and a long black leather coat and had huge leather mittens.
He was a telephone repair person in the days when telephones were still a luxury, and not everyone had one.
He was always involved in sports. Gave swimming lessons, coached and played soccer (he was a goalie), sailed, walked the "Vierdaagse" a few times.
check it out if you're interested:

http://walking.about.com/library/weekly/aa072799.htm

Besides his job, he was the quintessential "daddy knows best." He knew how to fix anything. His motto was: if I can't fix it, it can't be fixed." He built toys for us, sturdy ones, from solid wood, I mean, some of the trucks he made for the boys could do some damage IF you had been able to actually pick it up and throw it through the room!
He was extremely artistic as well. Could draw a portrait with a pencil made to look like the actual photograph. He was also very musical. He taught me how to play the guitar, and gave me the gift of love for classical music, albeit operetta and cowboy music, it was a start. He still hauls out his harmonica every chance he gets and serenades everyone who will stand still long enough.

He made us all bicycles from scratch, would go around on garbage day and haul parts home. He even detailed them with fine gold lines and whirly decorations. They always looked like they came from the regular bike factory. He found old broken clocks and made them new again, TV's, radios, you name it! (However, when he came home once with parts of a baby grand piano, mom drew the line *lol*)

When I was 5 or so, he made me a beautiful doll house. It had an electric doorbell, a fireplace that lit up, Mom made little curtains, small rugs, they made furniture, it was a real gem.
Unfortunately I was a rather destructive child and this pretty house was destroyed in a matter of days. The empty dollhouse sat on a basement shelf for years after that, they didn't have the heart to throw it away.

I don't remember being punished for it, I probably was, but I just don't recall.
Of course thinking back now, it brings tears to my eyes, and guilt...SOoooo much guilt!

We went on vacation pretty much every year. In Holland at that time every guild or group of workers would get the same two weeks vacation. All the construction workers went at the same time, etc etc.
My parents would rent a bungalow somewhere inland. In the early years we would take a bus. The bus picked up families all over Den Haag and took us all to the location of the Bungalow Park.
Our stuff would be transported by truck. My mom had a wooden crate they used as a trunk. It would have our clothes, linens, food, games, books, and the box of snacks. It took her weeks to fill it up, everything clean and pressed, of course.

The weeks out in the woods were always wonderful. Considering the whole country would fit inside the State of Georgia about 13 times, you can imagine we really didn't GO very far, but to us it was like going to the other side of the world.
Driving on the freeway alone gave us the thrill of feeling we were going somewhere far far away.

When my dad got his drivers license, we would rent a car for our vacation. He always rented an Opel, four door sedan. Boy, did we feel rich! I was always so damn proud of my dad, he looked SO important (and hot!) driving that big car!!

When I became a teenager (I was/am the oldest) my parents ran into some resistance from me.
Being the oldest in a catholic household meant you had to "go through" everything first.
And being the rebel I was, it was tough going. I'm talking about non-catholic boyfriends; refusing to go to church, wanting a job instead of finishing high school, etc etc.

My father though stayed his calm old self. I could always count on him for support. My mom would just simply freak out *S*

One of my fondest memories of my father was the time that I was going on my very first date.
I made a date with a boy I worked with, and became my first really BIG love. We were to meet in Scheveningen, on the Boulevard, and go see the fireworks.
I don't remember how I got there, probably took the tram.

I walked along the Boulevard a few times, but no boyfriend...nowhere to be seen.

Aw nuts!

As I walked back and forth I felt someone watching me from the street above. I looked up and there was my father, on his motor bike. With a grin on his face. (He had these lopsided grins)

Where are you supposed to meet? he asked...
At the Shooting Gallery, I replied.....
He laughed!!
Well kiddo, you're on the wrong side!!!.......

Geesh!

I ran towards back to where the Shooting Gallery was and low and behold, there was my boyfriend, on his Puch motor bike. *S*

As we walked back together, my dad was still there, grinning from ear to ear, shaking his head.

I felt extremely grateful, and so safe. And so relieved.

Not until I had kids of my own did I understand the anxiety you go through as a parent of a teenager. The way they can just scare the daylights out of you, make you worry yourself into a tizzy, hurt you by their selfish and silly acts.

I hope my father knows that he did a fabulous job raising us.

Even in old age, he never forgets to send us a check around Christmas time (we jokingly call it our "zakgeld"; allowance. He is still being Papa, he will always be the responsible and loving father.

Ever since his health started declining about ten years ago, I've been thinking of what I would say at his funeral.

I can never get past the first sentence:

"Today we say goodbye to the sweetest man in the world....."

I really hope we will have him around for a little while longer, especially now, when we all appreciate and love him so much more....

It's really a shame that it sometimes takes a lifetime to understand what your parents meant to you, how well of a job they really did of raising you.

Thanks mom and dad!

I love you both, very much!

SGMKJ!

No more crib, welcome to my big girl bedroom

We still need some stuff for the walls and some book cases for all her other books and toys, but we're getting there.

:>)


The guy that cause Bugs' accident DOES have insurance and things are being taken care off.

SGMKJ!

We might as well forget about it

What I found on the police blotter today:



* Loenides Medina, 29, of 166-B Porter St., Cartersville, was arrested by the Georgia State Patrol and charged with driving without a license, failure to yield when turning left and leaving the scene of an accident (hit-and-run).


Which most likely means: no driver's license, no insurance, illegal 'immigrant'

Mr Medina will probably deported, and our own insurance will have to kick in.

*sigh*

Needless to say we're all a bit down the dumps.
Bugs more than us. She is a mess. We took Boo overnight just to give her some rest.
When (IF) she gets her last paycheck, hopefully on Tuesday, she will stop for an appointment with my doctor across the street.
We need to fix this baby up.

SGMKJ!

Car wreck

So we get this call at 8 am this morning.
A shaken Bugs, I've been in a car wreck. On her way to take Boo to Daycare. (Which we later found out was closed for the 4th)

The girls are fine.

She was cut off by a guy turning left in front of her while she had the right-of-way through a stoplight intersection. She managed to avoid a T-bone collision, but hit the guys rear fender with her right side.

The guy didn't stop, but was apprehended about a mile down the road by the cop responding to the accident. Since it happened outside city limits it was the state trooper who handled her side of it.

So she calls ME????...I tell her to call 911!!!!...and her insurance man...

The guy was taken to jail. We don't know if he has insurance. Being a holiday weekend, we probably don't know anything until Monday. She can pick up her police report then too.

We drove the car to the collision center, they gave us a rough estimate (only $3000, but will probably be more once they look under the damage)

We then drove to the local rent a car place who had ONE care left!!!

WHEWW

By this time we were all famished, so I took the gals to IHOP for a sturdy breakfast. After which we both went on our way home.

I needed something to settle my stomach so I stopped at Kohls. I saw a nice BIG purse I just HAD to have. Price $55, but 50% off. Oh well.
At the register it rung up $5.00!!!!!!!!! WheeeeaaaHHHH!

I almost felt like that IKEA commercial:...."start the car!!!! start the car!!!!!....

those of you who have seen this commercial will "get it"

Bugs has a pre-orientation appointment with her new boss tomorrow at two.

So, a pretty crazy week for this family, but we thrive on chaos.

Life is always interesting in the Town family.

Happy Fourth of July y'all!

SGMKJ!

Bugs got the job

TacoMac...watch out!

We're all so excited for her. She starts her orientation/training next week.

Whew!

SGMKJ!

Storage, here we come

Alright!
I've paid for 6 months rent on a 5 by 10 storage room.
The crib, the changing table, five plastic bins full of toys and clothes, my old IMac, the old wheelchairs, the roll-away bed, all going to be out of my house!
I am feverishly trying to find more "stuff" to store, but will have to wait until PH has a day off.

He da man with da truck!

It'll be great having my closets back, room in the garage, the attic.

Plus from now on, Boo-boo will have to sleep in the BIG GIRL bed.

It's kind of sad. I am washing all the crib bedding, so I can store it. When will we use it again?

This morning I decided to take myself for a nice long walk. The temps were still around 80 and there was a breeze. I ended up walking for an hour, real slow, but very relaxing.

Boo will be here after her nap, so Bugs can go to her interviews.

Maybe we'll go see the ducks in the park.

SGMKJ!

Pounding the pavement

Bugs has two second interviews tomorrow and is happy happy happy.
She applied at Taco Mac, she thinks she would love to work there.

http://www.taco-mac.com/

Foreclosure is imminent. She received her notice from three sources. She is trying to contact whomever she has to contact, but (as usual) gets the answering machine.

House will be auctioned off the first Tuesday of August.

No idea what kind of repercussions this is going to have for her.

We'll just wait.

While I was wondering how I could help pay for Daycare for the rest of the month, the angels looked down and deposited $400 in my account. Miracles DO happen.

It never fails, something or someone ALWAYS comes to the rescue when you truly need it..

*Hugs my angel tight....thanks...love you!*

SGMKJ!

The boobs are fine!

For those of you who are wondering.....

My doctor finally "found" the results of my mammogram. He said they looked beautiful and they are just fine.

Been a while since any man commented on my boobs ya know. I'll take it anyway I can. *LOL*

Hmmm...

Over the hump

My daughter seems to have gotten a shot of energy from quitting her job.
This weekend she put together, typed out and PRINTED her resume.

Late yesterday we went shopping for some job hunting clothes, since all she has are a green bridesmaids dress and jeans and tank tops and other assorted hippie shirts.
Even that went well. We found a very stylish pair of black slacks (size ONE) and a white short sleeved/boatneck top, which made her look sleek and beautiful and professional.
Oh, those long skinny legs. But the pants really do look fabulous on her.

Even Boo-boo agreed: pretty, mama!

So today she is going to pound the pavement. She's got a list of places she wants to go and apply in a 20 mile radius. She took Boo to "school", so we didn't have to baby sit.

It was a weird weekend, not having Boo around. We both just basically piddled around. I had my laundry to do, did some reading and took naps. Not very productive, but I guess the rest was needed.

Today I am going to shop around for a storage place. I really want to rearrange Boo-boo's room, take out the crib and the changing table, and make it a BIG GIRL room. It's time.
And now that we don't watch her as often, and don't have to put her to bed every night, we might as well do the switch. Get all those toys out of the livingroom as well.

My Mom is doing well. She was delighted to receive a get well card from my son. He was/is their first/oldest grand child and has a very special place in their hearts. She called me right away and she sounded so darn happy about it. :>)
Thanks, son.

Time to get a move on. Bugs just stopped by to get some Pepto Bismal. She made "chicken Surprise" last night and she's been on the "run" all morning. So she had to make a pit stop here *lol*, and raid mom's medicine cabinet and fridge for a bottle of water.

She looks great, and excited, aside from the tummy trouble. She's ready to go and get on with life.

Wish her luck!

SGMKJ!

Rollercoaster day

My mother is home again, safe and sound.
She has been given a new regimen of meds which should keep her going for now. She also needs to check with her cardiologist and her doctor more frequently.
She now gets 6 hours worth of "help", so she won't have to do any cleaning, laundry, vacuum, shopping.
She sounded glad to be home again, and worried about my father, who seems to have lost weight during this weeks shuffling back and forth to the hospital every day and not getting enough to eat.
(My personal opinion on that, he probably raided all the cookie jars and refrigerator things he's not supposed to eat, hey...who cares at this point, let the man live a little and enjoy his sweets)

I have a feeling that the next step will be assisted/senior living. My sister is all for that and is actively getting them on the list at a brand new complex near her house. It would be an ideal solution. My parents could start out in an independent type apartment, then move up to assisted living when they become less able, or when one of them dies. Then when it comes time for hospice or nursing home, it's all under one roof.

So for now we can sit back and take a deep breath in that matter.

Of course never a dull moment here. Bugs has been getting increasingly stressed the last few weeks about work.
Yesterday we got this hysterical phonecall from her. I urged her to come home for a bit so she could calm down and we could talk.
Her boss did another screaming/cussing out number on her. It was the proverbial last drop. She didn't want to go back to work. She was at her wits end.

So after we calmed her down and talked with her, she decided to go tell him to f"ck himself and quit right there on the spot. She was scared to death to do it. Especially with no new job lined up. But...she paid July's rent and was caught up with her utilities, which gives her a few weeks. Child care is paid up for another week. But she had to cancel it after that, not knowing what is going to happen.

We urged her to take the weekend to relax and get her thoughts together. Monday she can go pound the pavement for another job, perhaps for now just a wait job, or a job at Target or a super market. Anything to hold her over.

PH was planning on taking Sunday and Monday to make a trip up to Tennessee to see what's going on there. He was having a friend going to drive him around. Of course with Bugs gone at the one restaurant, the asshole boss might order PH to fill in on Sunday for her. I hope he'll say no, he has plans....but that's his choice.
The idea of them moving in together seems to have started a dialog with his mom, albeit quietly. But at least they are talking about it.
But it's clear that something needs to happen. Either they get a house together; move to Tennessee; whatever, life as it is seems no longer viable. He is unhappy with his job as well, (same asshole boss)

For some reason I am not overly worried right now. Having been in her position many many times in my life, and knowing that something will always pop up and things will always work out.

One day at a time.....

For us it means, no babysitting this weekend. Now that's a unicum!
:>)

As for celebrities dying this week. I mourn for Ed, I mourn for Farrah, especially after watching her last documentary. For some reason I have absolutely no feeling for the passing of Michael Jackson.

Maybe it's the antidepressants...

SGMKJ!

Mom update

I talked again with everyone last night, including my brother from New Zealand, who's birthday it is as well today. He turned 58.

My phone card is getting a good workout from all the calls coming and going from and to Holland, New Zealand and Australia.

Mom is having more X rays done, sonograms, more blood testing, and more watching. She's off the IV and the oxygen and she was feeling a tad better when I talked with her an hour ago. She had a nice shower, and the food is excellent. Of course having three fellows as co-patients in her room make life interesting as well.

BUT

It's time (all of us kids agree on this) that they start thinking about moving to an assisted living facility.
Of course the suggestion was scuffed at and a firm NO was heard around the world.

Something my sister in particular is extremely frustrated about. She has no POA, so she can't even request an urgency declaration to get them moved in quickly.

My parents have always extremely independent. Even getting rid of the car was fought tooth and nail, until my father finally did it himself. In my opinion, he wanted to be the one making the decision. I understand that.
So it's likely that THEY will eventually make the decision about moving as well.

I suggested my sister talk with their doctors, get them to suggest a move, as they seem to listen to the authority of the DOCTORS as opposed to the "children."

The cardiologist asked my mother some subtle questions: are you living alone? do you have help? etc. So it sounds to me he is very concerned about them living alone. So obviously he's concerned about their Independence. They will need more outside help. God forbid someone else makes their bed and clean their kitchen, and irons their clothes.

My father, as you know, is a walking time bomb. His carotid arteries are blocked so severely, we're all surprised he is still in upright position. (95% and 75% blocked!!)
It's not a question of if, but when.

So as we were making plans for my eventual trip to Holland when the time comes (It's taking more organization this time around with Wheelies's care (he refuses extra 'help' too), Bugs and Boo-boo), we never thought it would be my mother who would hit the sheets before my father.


It's difficult to make a decision whether to go now, or wait. New Zealand is in the same situation of course. But consenses is that we sit it out for now.

My parents had a beautiful life together. They are part of a dying generation, and I don't mean that literally. Theirs was a life of hard work, simple pleasures, lots of humor, patience, and devout spirituality, and a fierce sense of family.

So no, I am not going to see her. But I am going to call her every day.

It's just impossible for me to take the trip now, and perhaps needing to go back for their funerals again later. Too many obligations here at home, absolutely no money. My parents understand that, thank God.

So again, we wait and see. I hope they can be persuaded to take a chance on moving into that brand new modern facility where they can stay until they pass. Where they can move from assisted to nursing home to hospital/hospice all under one roof. Everything in one complex, hairdresser, doctors, massage therapy, coffeeshop, small stores, baker, butcher, greengrocer, snackbar, pharmacy, pizza joint. The assisted living apartments for couples is larger than the flat they now live in, so they wouldn't have to get rid of anything. Alarm buttons in every room at several levels on the walls, handicapped access bathrooms, toilets. MAN, I wanna move there!!!! And they have a small kitchen, but can also eat in the public diningroom.

In the meantime we sit tight. I'm a long ways away from everyone and everything but this is affecting me more than I thought it would. At least I have my little white pills. Not that I've been gobbling them down, but just the knowledge that I have access, makes a big difference.

The cold seems to be waning in both Boo and me. Boo still coughs like a sailor when I put her down, but we've remedied that problem by placing a pillow under her mattress, elevating her head, and running the humidifier when she's sleeping. It helps.

I've been hitting the Emergen-C and that stuff really really works.

It's hot outside, in the high 90s, with the heat index it seems like we're in the 100s.

My plants are surviving, and thriving.

SO....that's going to have to be it for today.

SGMKJ!

Alice in Wonderland

It's going to be a super hot day today. So I inflated the little kiddie pool and filled it with water.
Hopefully the water will warm up some before Boo-boo can "swim" in it this afternoon.

I was able to call my mother yesterday in the hospital. She had a very strange voice and I did not recognize her. It took a while before we realized who we were talking to. She sounded very tired and very hoarse. And not at all well.

I guess we'll just play it day by day, as there isn't much else we can do from this side of the pond.

It's got me worried and anxious though.

Thank God we'll have Boo this weekend to take our attention off the sad stuff.

SGMKJ!

Mom in the hospital

Just as I am trying to get my family to prepare itself in case I am to hop on a plane in case something happens to my dad, I get a call from my sister.
Mom is in the hospital.
She has had a congenital heart valve problem for a while now. She has been feeling unwell for the past few days and yesterday she was taken to the hospital and diagnosed with fluid behind the lungs. Caused by the heart valve which doesn't function properly anymore.
For now they are treating her with diuretics (or so I understand) and they're keeping her for a few more days.

No panic. But still....

It's strange that the topic of discussion here at home has been just about this very issue.
Of course we never think about my mother getting sick, as my father's arteries are so clogged up, we're surprised he's still walking around. I've been telling Wheelie and Bugs to get prepared when the call comes. We need a plan.

So we'll wait and see.

I am still coping with the perpetual "day care head cold"
Boo-boo has her ups and downs. My urging Bugs to take her to the doctor fell on deaf ears until Wheelie set her down the other night and told her she was being a bad mom for not taking her child to the doctor.
Which created a bit of an awkward night, after she yelled back at him, stomped out with the baby.

Yesterday I decided to calm the waters and went to talk with her. As I suspected, she has had to let Boo's health insurance lapse, she simply cannot afford it on top of the day care costs. It didn't surprise me, but I was disappointed that she didn't ask for help.

We had an enlightening little talk, and I took the girls grocery shopping (arghhh)

I once again told her to get rid of her little group of dark clouds (problems she won't or can't solve), get off her ass and bite through the sour apple, and get on with her life.

Not going to get into the specifics, just too complicated.

Needless to say....deja vu all over again...

Speaking of deja vu....

The neighborhood is having a yard sale next Saturday. So I've been going through stuff. Found a shoebox with a bunch of cassette tapes. Some of my "walking tapes" (when I walked 5 miles every morning, Ha!) Some tapes friends made for me. And a special tape I have been saving.
I put it in the stereo and there it was....my little 2 year old son in the bath tub singing and splashing.
If you didn't know better, you'd think I taped it the other day. My voice is the same, the baby's voice just like Boo-boo's, singing the same songs...A B C.....Klap 'ns in je handjes (Dutch song)...
Amazing!!!!
To think I made this tape 35 years ago.....
One endearing thing on this tape: "Momma, am I driving you nuts???"
My son at this age (2+) was a little more articulate than Boo is now, but the voice is so similar.

Boo is fine, by the way. She loves Day care, knows the names of her friends and teachers, and proudly shows me what she's 'made'.

She helped me plant some flowers in my garden, pulled some weeds for me, and loves my big teacup planter. The other night she was sitting by it, talking to herself, just picking at the creeping Jenny under her feet. Like Alice in Wonderland...so sweet...

It's gonna be another hot one here today, so I am staying inside, getting some rest, trying to get over this damn cold.

SGMKJ!

New Sheets

Oooowwwww...that Popsicle is COLD.............

When you're bored....go shopping....

I was JUST going to take a peek at Kohl's this morning, just to see if there was anything new (...I didn't need).

For some reason I stopped at the linens department, (uhuh) and thought I'd see if there was a good buy on king size white cotton sheets. We've been sleeping on the same Eddie Bauer sheets for the past 10 years now. At only 200 thread count, they have been wonderful and indestructible.
But...after ten years you get bored by the same old stuff.

So I found this 610 thread count 100% cotton "Biltmore Estate" set of white sheets. The "Biltmore" thing made me smile, as I am sure one of my readers will. (wink)

It's a super luxurious set, and I just finished making the bed with it, after a run through the washing machine.

The sheets are HUGE...and SOFT....can't wait to crawl under them tonight.

Right now there's this pop-up thunderstorm racing over our heads, lots of hard rain, a few thunder claps. Typical Georgia weather.

My cold is still hanging on, mostly in my head. Perhaps I have allergies. Never been tested for them. When it gets too annoying I have been taking Benedryl, but mostly I've just let the snot roll. We should buy stock in Kleenex!

Boo-boo seems to be over her cold. She is much happier at the daycare, doesn't cry when she sees me, knows the 'teacher's' names, and some of the kids. Hallelujah!

Other than us having much more time to piddle around and do stuff outside the house, we are enjoying it very much, we also look forward for four o'clock to come around to go pick the little girl up from"school". She is just changing before your very eyes, getting smarter every day. It's wonderful to experience that again.

So things are cool. *knock on wood*

SGMKJ!