They're coming out of the woodwork!

The past few days have been an interesting whirlwind of relatives popping up all over the world.
Folks I was never particularly close to when I was younger, but they're my cousins, and it seems that our roads are crossing at a time when we're all pondering our past.

Needless to say my head is spinning from all the excitement and all the new information; the emails back and forth; the pictures shared, stories told...

It's going to take me a little time to assimilate all this new data. Of course I am going to spend some quality time covering all this on my blog.

So, please have patience, folks.

By the way...sometimes I go back and make small changes in my older posts. Nothing huge, but still. :>) Just in case you were wondering.

In the meantime, have a great weekend!

SGMKJ!

Another country heard from....

Blogs are a great way to find long lost relatives!

Wow, heard from a cousin of mine who I have not seen for...gosh...over 45 years? maybe more?

It's neat to connect with people.

A short update on my Dad. Both the arteries in his neck have severe blockage. One of them is blocked 90%, the other 60%. He will have an MRI done in April, to get a different perspective (they did a sonogram this time). In the meantime his neurologist didn't give him many options. Surgery at his age and at this point would be extremely dangerous, he's already on meds/blood thinners. My father really doesn't want to go under the knife again. So I guess we'll just wait and see...again...
My father asked this guy if he thought it was okay to drive his car. The guy said Yes! Good Lord almighty!
Not only does he drive an ancient Mitsubishi, he should NOT be on the road in his condition!
Both my sister and I were flabberghasted.
What blows our minds even more is that my Mom so easily steps into that car with him. They never go very far, just the supermarket, but still.

Other than that, this has been an okay day. We took Boo-boo to Costco. She loves to shop, loves to flirt and 'talk' with people.

The weather is getting warmer, but they are forecasting rain this weekend. Doesn't matter, we need it.

Forgive me for being brief today, but I'm pooped, and I'm going to rest.

Have a super weekend y'all!

It's a Newman/Nilsen day

"Broken windows
In empty hallways
Pale dead moon
And the sky streaked with grey
Human kindness overflowing
And i think it's gonna rain today"

Wednesday....Humpday....

Today we are listening to Harry Nilsen and Randy Newman...

Let me explain!

Wheelie listens to music, that you already know.

He/we have a large CD collection. Well...we used to...before we sold most of it, about 80%, on Ebay, but...we still have a pretty generous collection left.

Lately, Wheelie has been using a system for listening to his music. He picks two pop CDs, two classical CDs and two Jazz/Blues CDs, goes alphabetically.
This way he has been covering everything he has. When he's gone through the whole shebang he's going to go back and just pick out and listen to his favorites.

So today we're having Harry Nilsen and Randy Newman, along with Keith Emerson and The Nice. Hmm...interesting combination. No classical or Jazz in the pile today I noticed.
Go figure

Both Nilsen and Newman are some of my favorite song writers. Many songs they wrote are made famous by other artists.
Dusty Springfield had a hit with I Think It's Going To Rain Today. Of course it was also done by Judy Collins, Bette Midler. Such a pretty song, such a lovely melody...

It just got me thinking about all the songs that have meant something in my life, at certain times, for certain reasons. Not in the least at times when I was (or thought I was) in LUV...

It runs the gamut from Sandy Shaw's: "Always Something There To Remind Me," when I broke up with my very first boyfriend (the one in my father's story), "Any Day Now" by Joan Baez, my first husband, "Brahms' 4th Symphony-3rd movement," someone in between, Willy Nelson's Stardust, a 'friend' in Minnesota, John Denver's Dreamland Express and Alan Jackson's Tall Tall Trees, another "friend' in Minnesota, Sibelius' Karelia Suite, and many other 'tunes', Wheelie.......and the incredibly proud feeling washing over me listening on stage to my son pounding on his drums...'doing'..."Roots Radicals".....an amazing experience...to watch a mass of tangled arms and heads bopping in front of the stage, singing along, frantically jumping up and down...
And not in the least my daughter's tears at her last high school orchestra concert, playing the viola, while performing Led Zeppelin's "Stairways to Heaven," arranged by her very talented and very cool orchestra teacher.....
And lastly...the joy on Boo-Boo's face, listening and bopping to the tunes of Sesame Street....

If we did not have music, life would be drab indeed.


There are so many pieces of music, and songs, when I hear them it instantly takes me back to a certain time, when it meant something special to me, and the memories come back...

Music seems to keep us sane, it seems...

Damn, now I am crying....

SGMKJ!

Tuesday is my start of the week

We had a pretty decent day today.
It started out very cold.
22° here in town this morning when I woke up.
The cars were frosted, as were the roofs. Brrr...
Could be worse, it's snowing in Holland!

In the afternoon the temps were up quite a bit (in the 70s), so I decided to have a little stroll with Boo-boo. I've been trying to walk every day, weather permitting. Today I took a different "loop", went up the street, found a new street which turned out to be a dead end, but lovely nevertheless.
The trees are blossoming and even the dogwoods are popping.
I walked through the park, around the track, around the tennis fields, and then home again.
Halfway through the baby slouched down and fell asleep.

I was gone for an hour and ten minutes, felt so good to be out, quiet, little breeze, sun in my face.
Was glad to be home again too, as my leg was starting to kill me. Left leg, my thigh and the outside of my calf.

We played, we ate, we watched some TV...and now it's 8:30 and she's asleep, Wheelie is watching some star/planet program on the History channel and I am going to make a dent in my book (Eyes of Prey by John Sandford, I am trying to read the entire series from the first book on)

If you are familiar with these books, you will know that most of it plays in Minnesota, some of it in the north, where everything is very remote. I've lived in Minnesota myself once and I know it gets COLD there. I just don't understand how people can live there all their lives, I liked some of it, but hated most of it. I HATE cold. I HATE scooping a new layer of dog poop every day as the snow melts in the spring. (Love the lilacs though)
I enjoy reading about the stories from those frozen tundras, as I have a friend who lives there, and the stories just remind me of him. He lives in the boonies, and in some of Sandford's stories he describes the way of life there perfectly.

So from now on the weather is supposed to be getting warmer, which is fabulous. I will resume my daily walks again (like I did last year) and hopefully lose a few pounds.

My dad had his tests today, will know the results on Friday. So we wait.

Have a pleasant evening y'all!

SGMKJ!

Wheelie

Easter Monday.....used to be another holiday back in the old country, another day to go to church, visit the grandparents...probably something special on TV....left overs for dinner...
Here in the USA it's just another Monday...wash day...

But...I promised to explain Machado Joseph Disease.

When Wheelie and I decided to get married, he warned me that there was this weird phantom disease flowing through the family on his mother's side, at that time (1981) it was called Joseph's Disease.
Being in love and being young and full of energy I promised I could handle it, whatever came our way, we would be okay.

Here is a short explanation of the disease itself:
I borrowed it from the NORD website

Machado-Joseph disease (MJD)-also called spinocerebellar ataxia type 3-is a rare hereditary ataxia. (Ataxia is a general term meaning lack of muscle control.) The disease is characterized by clumsiness and weakness in the arms and legs, spasticity, a staggering lurching gait easily mistaken for drunkenness, difficulty with speech and swallowing, involuntary eye movements, double vision, and frequent urination. Some patients have dystonia (sustained muscle contractions that cause twisting of the body and limbs, repetitive movements, abnormal postures, and/or rigidity) or symptoms similar to those of Parkinson's disease. Others have twitching of the face or tongue, or peculiar bulging eyes.

The severity of the disease is related to the age of onset, with earlier onset associated with a more severe form of the disease. Symptoms can begin any time between early adolescence and about 70 years of age. MJD is also a progressive disease, meaning that symptoms get worse with time. Life expectancy ranges from the mid-thirties for those with severe forms of MJD to a normal life expectancy for those with mild forms. For those who die early from the disease, the cause of death is often aspiration pneumonia.

The name, Machado-Joseph, comes from two families of Portuguese/Azorean descent who were among the first families described with the unique symptoms of the disease in the 1970s. The prevalence of the disease is still highest among people of Portuguese/Azorean descent. For immigrants of Portuguese ancestry in New England, the prevalence is around one in 4,000. The highest prevalence in the world, about one in 140, occurs on the small Azorean island of Flores. Recently, researchers have identified MJD in several family groups not of obvious Portuguese descent, including an African-American family from North Carolina, an Italian-American family, and several Japanese families. On a worldwide basis, MJD is the most prevalent autosomal dominant inherited form of ataxia, based on DNA studies.

Back in the early 1970's, Wheelie was watching a program on a PBS station about a rare neurological disorder that was being 'discovered and studied' by a doctor Roger Rosenberg in Dallas.
This disorder was being traced back to People from Portugal in the Azores. At that time it was believed that only those people were affected, later on MJD was discovered in countries all over the world, but it's still to be thought of as a disease that originated from the Portuguese (they were world travelers/explorers after all)
Anyway, while Wheelie was watching, he thought that the sympthoms that were being described were very close to the ones his mother was experiencing, as well as his grandfather's.
Grandpa was a sailor from Portugal. He jumped ship in Oakland California, married a Swedish woman, had a family. The last 18 years of his life were spent in bed, no one knowing what ailed him, nasty rumours going around that it was syphillis. The stigma of this being a weird disease is still being felt today, as many families have been destroyed by either ignorance or fear.

Wheelie encouraged his mom to contact Dr. Rosenberg, and she was seen by him at once. A geneology chart was made up and it was discovered that her family traced straight back to one of the two families thought to have been the source of the disease (The Josephs and the Thomases, and the Machados from the island of Flores in the Azores)

The type of MJD Wheelies family has is SCA III, the late onset type. Which means that the sympthoms don't start until later in life, 40s and 50s. SCA III is a slower progressing type than the types I and II.

In 1994, a Japanse scientist finally discovered the DNA marker for this disease. Which meant that now we could be tested.

Of course genetic testing brings along a whole new set of problems. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Think of obtaining health insurance, for instance, with this pre existing condition.

When I was pregnant with Bugs (before the gene was discovered) I had amniocentesis done. Not only because I was 35 years old at the time, but we also found a doctor in Vancouver who was studying the disease and was affiliated with the hospital where I was having the baby.
A great opportunity for him to get some 'stuff' he could study.

I asked him a few years ago if he still had the sample, and if he could test it. But at that time Bugs was 'of age' and would have to request the test herself.

Bugs has decided not to get tested. It was her decision. There is a 50% chance that Wheelie's children (and his grand children) have MJD. Once a parent is tested negative though, the disease can no longer be inherited.

Wheelies' children don't seem to have any sympthoms. But then we do not have much contact with them. His son was complaining about balance problems, which could be a sympthom, but this guy has been smoking a lot of dope in his life, so who's to say where that comes from. Wheelie suggested he get tested. He is 44 years old and has three kids.

Back in 1990, my mother in law lived in a tiny town in Oregon. When her husband passed away she was up the creek without a peddle. She was already in a wheelchair by then and needed constant care. She had wonderful people around her from the community, but it wasn't enough. She did not want to go to a nursing home, she wasn't about to give the government ALL her money :>)

So, we decided to move her in with us, here in Georgia. We bought a large house, settled her in.
I was full of energy, excited to be taking care of her, making her life easier, doing her hair every week, getting her some nice clothes, shaving her chin...
If there's one thing I've learned from that experience is that you cannot take a person out of his or her environment and change their lives, however well meaning the efforts.
After a year I was a mental case. Grandma had a mean streak, and was not easy to live with.
She broke her hip, which wasn't diagnosed until she fell again, and the doctors made X rays.

The poor thing could not sleep from the pain, was moaning all night long. It affected everyone in the family. She was a feisty lady, who wouldn't listen. She was "mean" to Bugs, thought we should paddle her when she was misbehaving. I could not stomach the diapers, the personal care, was just not ready for that.
Bugs, who was in 3rd grade at the time, an easy going, happy girl and a good student, her grades started to drop dramatically. She would not come home from school, afraid to face grandma. The teacher summoned us for a conference to ask what was going on at home.

I was under doctor's care, being treated for depression. I had to quit my job for a while, but could not stay in the house, so I started volunteering.

After she lived with us for about a year it was time to place Mom in a nursing home. We found a newly built one, pretty decent, and she seemed to be happy there. She was put on a feeding tube, and the staff was trying to teach her to walk and talk again (fat chance)
She lived there for another four years. The care was excellent, but it took me three years to set foot in the place. I was cooked, overdone, toasted!
Not until she got really sick with pneumonia, and reoccurring uti's, that I was able to go and visit her again.
After one visit, as I was leaving the home, I heard a voice back in the hall calling: "help meeeeee..." (wasn't grandma), it sounded so desperate, so pitiful, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My emotional bubble burst and I fled to my car where I sat and cried for a long long time.
It was a cathartic experience. All of a sudden I found the strength again to function again.
Mom died in 1996, when she developed another bladder infection and her kidneys were shutting down, and she wasn't able to eat anything because her esophagus was atrophying, we decided on palliative care (she was OK with that.)
I spent the last evening of her life trying to feed her her favorite strawberry ice cream. The last thing she said to me was: This is the shits! It made us both laugh. I was finally able to tell her I loved her, and tell her goodbye...

So here we are, 12 years later. Wheelie started stumbling around about that same time. His speech was becoming slurred, he was having small 'incidents' with his car, people were looking at him funny (he acted drunk) He was arrested for DUI, even though he wasn't drunk. The last straw was when he ran into a ditch, totalling the car. No more driving for him.

We decided to move back to California. Since his kids were there I was hoping there would be some physical support, as well as having the entire family closer together, enjoying each other's company for holidays. (not! but that's another story)

I went west in March, in the Ford Explorer, towing a Uhaul. I wanted to be by myself for a few months. Got an apartment, was transferred from one Eddie Bauer to another, things went well. In August Wheelie and Bugs drove west with our dachsie: Cady. Bugs had just gotten her drivers license, and she drove all the way.

We lived in California for 7 years before we decided that we could not only not afford to live there, but also that the kids were not there for us. Perhaps I expected too much. (you think?)
Bugs did not like California and high tailed it back to Georgia after she graduated from high school.
Around that time Wheelie decided he did not want to "walk" anymore. Walking consisted of hanging on to me and a big stick, or hanging on to a shopping cart. He got into that wheelchair and never walked again.

So here we are, at this time, he is doing well. As long as he doesn't try to stand up (he shattered his fibula trying to stand to go pee, which episode set him back about 6 months) and break any bones he's fine. As long as he eats small bites, he won't choke. As long as he doesn't try and cut something with a knife, he wont' stab anyone. As long as he doesn't have bladder infection, we don't have to catheterize him, and so forth, and so forth........

A year ago he was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Initially he did not want to be treated for it. As he is 72, and since the MJD would kill him before the cancer could, he didn't want to go through radiation, or chemo. But we ended up compromising and he is now getting a hormone shot every 6 months. It seems to keep things at bay, for now. His latest PSI was extremely low, and that is great news.

This disease is not supposed to affect the brain, they say, but I am convinced that it has a severe effect on a person's mental and emotional state.
This man used to do and know everything. In a way he is like my father: if I can't fix it, it can't be fixed.
In a way he is a fatalist. He knows what's coming. He has been through it with his grandfather and his mother. He has never been much of a talker, doesn't share his feelings, keeps his thoughts for himself, is a pro at stone walling.
But this is his coping mechanism. This way he has some control over his life...by not freaking out; making my life a little simpler (he thinks) by not rocking the boat.

He has no social life, he is not interested in contacting his old friends or his kids, he is not interested in finding his half brother (even though I found him on the internet and have his address), he seems to be content with his daily little ritual. He also had a half sister out there, and through an internet search with her social security number I found out that she passed away. (I wonder if she had MJD, and if her family is aware of this disease.)

So he gets up, takes his shower, gets dressed, drinks his green tea, eats his toast, watches the Today show until 9 o'clock, reads the paper front to back, then watches a movie or putzes around on the computer. At six he eats his dinner, we then watch the news, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.
When the baby is here he tries to play with her, watch over her.
He also listens to music. Loves his music. If there was no music, he would be dead. He also likes to read, but can only read a short time before his eyes start to cross.

I watch him sometimes, he dozes off a lot, refuses to be comfortable in a normal chair. Here is a guy who when stationed in Germany disabled nuclear missiles, he painted, he composed, he worked in the record business, knew famous artists, is a genius when it comes to knowledge about music. He developed a classical music appreciation class for his staff at Polygram, so that the sale people would know what they were selling.

It makes me incredibly sad. And proud too.
We have had a rocky marriage, but at this point I guess we're like two old worn out shoes, not much to look at, but comfortable.
Sometimes though I feel like a glorified housefrau. There is no intimacy of any kind anymore, not anyone's fault but the MJD. He pretty much lives in his own little world, I live in mine.
But maybe this is a good marriage, we both have our faults, we both have made some doozies of mistakes, but we're still together after 27 years. There is respect and mutual understanding, although I have a much shorter fuse and lower tolerance level than he has.

Only time will tell. For now things are going smoothly, but in the back of my head I am always on the lookout for that next trapdoor.

I hope this story isn't too long.
Have a great day y'all!

SGMKJ!

Spring has sprung...almost...

took this one last week :>)

Easter has come and gone. As holidays go here in this household, it wasn't much of one.
Of course I made sure Wheelie, Boo-boo and Bugs got their Easter basket with goodies; I sent my relatives cards, did my duty...

Wheelie and I went to breakfast at the Cracker Barrel this morning, trying to beat the church crowd. We need not have worried. Usually there are throngs of pink and white dressed ladies with amazing hats, white socks and shoes, men in suits and kids with well combed hair, buttons and bows.
Perhaps we were too early, all we saw were folks like us, in comfortable clothes, jeans and sweaters. Perhaps this holiday isn't much in vogue anymore. Perhaps the churches were not 'out' yet.

I checked out the egg drop at the park yesterday. There was promise of about 10.000 eggs being dropped onto the sports field/track from a helicopter. Great idea, lousy planning.
With the promise of hidden 'prizes' the adults overtook the field once the eggs were falling, and even though the adults were asked to leave the field and let the kids go for the eggs, .......well....I was disgusted.

Walking back I saw many crying tots with empty baskets. What a sad sight.
Whoever came up with the idea had his heart in the right place, must have spent a lot of money and energy to make this event a success, alas...
I hope they will make better plans for next year.

I had a lovely long talk with my sister in Holland this afternoon, at least I did get to use my voice today, actually speak to a live person, laugh, share stories. Sounds pathetic, doesn't it, but it's true. It was snowing there. My father is doing better, he decided to sell his car (FINALLY!!! Whew!!) He doesn't remember being in the hospital last week, blocked it out completely. He's having tests this week, Tuesday and Friday.

Bugs came by to pick up the stroller on her way to a birthday party. She didn't even take the baby out of the car. Would have been nice to spend a few minutes here pretending to do the family/holiday thing.
It made me sad, and I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a little while.
Then I had myself a big bowl of ice cream and curled up with a new book, and felt a little better.

I want to thank Joann, who left me a thoughtful message. Yes, anxiety is peeking around the corner. But it has before, I've tried meds, therapy, alcohol, ....The only thing that helped then was Ativan. Having no health insurance or a doctor, I can't get that now. Not without spending a few hundred bucks I don't have.

I am learning to 'surrender'. It's hard to surrender, harder than quitting smoking. But sometimes I succeed, if only a little bit, when I can feel myself relax and really understand that THIS is my life, I just need to deal with it. Shit happens and all that.
Mind over matter.
It really does work, but it takes an awful lot of willpower.

I guess the hardest part of it all is not being among other people. Being able to laugh and talk. I miss having a job, miss doing something meaningful outside the house like volunteering. But that will all just have to wait. Right now there just isn't any free time for that.
And most of our friends have dropped us like hot potatoes.
Here in these neck-of-the-woods, if you do not belong to a church, you really are out of luck.

There are only two ladies from my past here that I am in contact with. I love both of them for their tenacity, for the phone calls. One of them is an old friend from my days at Rich's department store. She drags me out to breakfast once every few months. I am so grateful, it means so much to me that someone cares and takes the time to contact me, drag me out of the house.

I've had several people ask me lately what Wheelie's ailment is.
It's called Machado Joseph Disease.

I will write about that tomorrow, right now I'm going to take off everything that's tight and throw on my robe and slippers.

Wishing everyone who reads this a very meaningful Easter, and a happy Spring!
Don't be shy, I love reading your comments.

SGMKJ!

Scroll down to see the poll on the bottom of the blogs

Tibet/China/The Olympics

It's physically far far away from us, but this affects us all in the end.
The people of Tibet deserve their fundamental rights to human freedom.

Here is something I copied from one of the many websites about the fight for freedom in Tibet:

• Free Tibet Campaign exists to "call for the cessation of practices which deprive the Tibetan people of their fundamental human rights and freedom including their right to self-determination." (UN Res. 1723, 12/12/61.)

• Free Tibet Campaign mounts campaigns to remind the British Government that they used these very words in the United Nations in 1961, and to insist that they honour them.

• The People's Republic of China joined the UN in 1971, and for several years there was little sign of support for Tibet at the UN against the "merciless repression." This changed in August 1991, when a Resolution criticizing China's policies in Tibet was passed by the UN � the first such UN Resolution in 25 years.

• Tibetans are still being arrested and charged for writing letters and speaking about Tibetan independence. Tibetans are still being tortured in prison and some have been executed. Tibetans still have to use the Chinese language for all official purposes. Tibetans are finding themselves progressively outnumbered by Chinese immigrants, and discriminated against in the fields of employment and education.

• These forms of repression will continue until world opinion brings such overwhelming weight to bear that the Chinese authorities will have to change their policy.

• Free Tibet Campaign believes that individuals can change public opinion, which can in turn affect policy. It is done by influencing decision makers, most of whom remain ill-informed of issues or ignore them until they are forced to listen. Free Tibet Campaign wants each of us to use our voice in the way that suits us best.

To me it's only logical that the people from Tibet make their voices heard now that the world is preparing for the Olympics in China. What better time?

But China is hell bent on arresting, and killing protesters, arresting journalists, blocking people's internet access. What a strange world!

If I were an athlete ready to compete in the Olympics, I would not want to go.
Frankly, I am surprised at the lack of support from the Olympic committee, and the rest of the world.

I was so very proud when back in 1988 my son's band participated in the Beasty Boys' Tibet Concert.

I have tried for years not to buy anything made in China. HA! Nowadays you can hardly find anything that's NOT made there anymore, despite the problems with Tibet, and the lead poisoning issues.

I found the link to one of the concert UTube videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2057mf9GQws

Anyway, I was watching the news and wanted to jot this down.

SGMKJ!

Good Friday

It's hard to imagine that it's Spring, or Easter, for that matter.
We still had frost on the pumpkin here this morning, but it's supposed to warm up to 70° here today.

We had a very busy day yesterday.
I took Boo-boo to the Library in the morning for the Story time hour.
She and her buddies were all over the place, but they seem to be having fun. At least this program allows her to mingle with people her own age. Something she definately enjoys! Loves to touch, grab, pull hair, take toys, sits on the 'teacher's lap or any other mom for that matter.
(You can't say she is not an anti social child! :>)

Then home for lunch and a short nap. Nap didn't happen, so we all piled into the Honda for another trip to Target. Going anywhere with a baby and a fellow in a wheelchair is a challenge. But this particular Target store is very stroller/buggy/wheelchair-friendly, and it's easy to get around in, bathrooms in more than one places in the store etc etc. This Target has a huge handicapped stall, a few stalls for 'bigger' people, and a family bathroom. Wow!

In the afternoon the weather got to be so nice I thought it would be a shame to stay indoors, so I took Boo-boo to the park. There is a large pond in the park with Canada geese, ducks, herons, turtles...and a few decent trails to walk on.
Some people were feeding the catfish in the pond. The fish were pretty tame and lazy. Little do these folks know that if you throw handfuls of cat food in the water you create a pretty nifty feeding frenzy.
Some of these animals are the size of a small killer whale! Cat food seems to be their favorite, and they literally jump out of the water to get to it, jumping over ducks and geese, it's quite a spectacle.

Boo-boo loved the animals, and the walk wore us both out. Needless to say I was able to put her to bed very early last night. Yeah!!!

Bugs was supposed to pick her up around 9:30-10-ish, but didn't come around until almost midnight. Both Wheelie and I were fit to be tight, but we held our mouths shut when she got there. She looked worn out, close to tears, but we decided not to push her.
I did ask her if she was alright. She said (while she rushed out to the car with Boo-boo) that she had a long talk with her boss, that she had to vent. And that was IT.
I guess she'll talk to us when she is ready.

In the meantime I'm worried sick about her, and I am sure Wheelie is as well. He doesn't say anything, but I get the vibes.

We know that she is going through some rough times, some of it of her own making. Nothing really we can do about it. She told me last week that she is "talking" with someone (meaning, she has a new boyfriend) I know this guy. She also told me they really liked each other, but they could not be together because HE is still in a relationship....with one of her best friends...
My immediate reaction was, You can't DO that!!!...only to immediately shut my mouth, realizing I once did the same thing...talk about your double standard. I felt awful...

She has a lot on her plate right now, and it kills me that I cannot help her. But something's gotta give...and we're anticipating the shit hitting the fan. SOMEthing is coming...I feel it...

So here we are, Good Friday. I made little baskets for everyone. Had to do something cheerful.

In the meantime I'm awaiting word from Holland. My father is having an echo done of the arteries in his neck, as well as a few other tests.
The good thing about the situation in Holland is that my brother is finally participating in the care of my parents, so my sister won't have to carry that burden all by herself anymore.

And by the way. I found the picture I wanted to post of my father on his motor bike. I added it to the others, a few posts below.
This particular picture was used on the front of some sort of propaganda pamphlet for the Telephone company. Either a recruitment ad or....I've always loved this picture. He was about 35 years old there.

Time for me to get going here.

Thanks for bearing with me. Ignatius, welcome to the group!!! At first I could not figure out who you were...haha...you little Australian devil you!

Have a wonderful weekend y'all!

SGMKJ!

Another storm on the way.........

Maybe it's the weather. Something sure affects my moods as well as my body.
Headaches, hands, knees, back, everything is sore...

I ran out for a quick trip to Target this morning. I wanted to get the Easter baskets out of the way.
Thought of extending my little trip and hit Pier I, Kohls and Belks as well, but I changed my mind.
No need to spend money right now.

Thanks Mara for your note, as always so insightful and helpful. I do appreciate it!

I guess there are many issues I would love to write about, but I also realize that many of them are just too personal. After all, you don't know who reads all this stuff, and who knows, it may embarrass someone.

So perhaps I'll start a journal for myself. I know writing things down gives your mind a new perspective in many things.

In the meantime we have the morning "off"
I am hoping Bugs will keep her foot down about her hours. She's supposed to start at TWO today. So far so good!
She was also done early last night, since she was "opening" and not "closing" And boy, did that make a difference. Going to bed at ten was wonderful!

Of course things will change in the blink of an eye, so for new we might as well enjoy the extra "free" hours we have.

I gave Boo-Boo a bath last night, BOY, does she love baths!!!! She stood by the tub as I ran the water, she was jumping up and down screaming: Ba!Ba!
I had a tough time getting her undressed, because she wouldn't sit or lie down!
In the tub she proceeded to splash and grab her two duckies while I tried to wash her hair and the rest of her. She loves having water poured over her. So that was fun.

She now pulls herself up on everything! The tables, the chairs, the cabinets. Sometimes she can even reach while NOT holding on, and she now totters from one table to the next. When I hold her hands she will "walk" It's not gonna be long now. My God, I'll have to get her a leash!

Yesterday I "lost" her. I was busy in the kitchen. Wheelie, who usually keeps an eye on her when I'm not able to, was not paying attention.
I looked everywhere! My house is tiny, and it should not be possible to hide!

I finally found her in the laundry room. She had gone inside, closed the door. ARGHHH.

She can now also reach the door handles (I had them installed instead of knobs for Wheelie, as he could not open the door with the knobs on them)
The kid is getting dangerous now.

There was this segment on the Today show this morning of all the stuff that is dangerous for your baby. Of course I want babies to be safe, but come on people, enough is enough!
I refuse to put those child proof contraptions on every cabinet in my house. In the kitchen I just moved all that's dangerous up where she can't get to it. The double cabinets I have strong rubber bands on that I can take off easily. But there isn't anything in those cabinets she can hurt herself on. It's all pots, pans and Tupperware.
In the bathroom I did the same rubber band thing (I use huge strong rubber bands I wrap a few times around the knobs)
Everywhere else I just have to pay attention and say NO.
Teaching a child where she can or cannot get into is one of OUR job.
She knows she can't touch the DVD player and anything on that shelve. It took a few weeks for her to understand, but she does not go near it anymore.

Leaving your child unattended in the bathtub is a no brainer to me.
Not testing the water temperature is just plain dumb.

In other words, whatever happened to common sense child raising?
Are we so preoccupied with our jobs, our friends, and other things (like blogging, *lol*) that we need to practically make our house like Fort Knox?

Well, gotta cut this short, it's 11:30 and ques who just came in...*sigh*

Have a good one y'all

Should I stay or should I go.......?

This morning I found myself wide awake at 4:30, and feeling more and more upset and depressed as I tried getting back to sleep.

I am thinking of shutting this blog down, I don't know....

Just don't have anything positive to report today...feeling pretty damn sorry for myself.

Gonna be a loooooooooong week!

Papa

MY FATHER ON HIS BIKE!
How Cool Was THAT!!!

My parents' wedding picture
April 24, 1946

My very earliest memories of my father was when I was about 4 or 5. We were visiting old friends of mom and dad's, and their children (I vaguely remember there being two girls, older than myself) were playing some sort of new board game with my father. When he lost, I felt horrible for him. Not really embarrassed, but just felt he should have won from these girls. After all, my father was God in my eyes, he could do anything!

Most of my childhood's memories are to be found in the many photo albums I have laying around.
And lately, I often I sit and visit these albums. I use a magnifying glass, as the old pictures are very tiny, and I've discovered that when you use a magnifying glass, you can see the facial expressions and other goodies otherwise not visible.
I also found that if you concentrated on those pictures long enough your memories would come flooding back.
True! Try it sometimes!

We had a pretty extensive family. Both on my mother's side, and on my father's side. There were tons of cousins, aunts, uncles, no grandmas, but two grandpas. Many family visits, birthday celebrations, and yes, funerals, of course.

My brothers, sister and I had a very happy and carefree childhood. My parents were the perfect couple, devout catholics, mom was the homemaker, papa was the breadwinner. Simple as that.
And they adored each other, they still do.

I can't speak for my siblings, but I never in my entire life saw or heard them fight, or squabble.
They did not curse, they did not raise their voices.
Mom kept the house in spic-span shape, papa made sure things got fixed, and together they raised the four of us, seemingly effortless.


The four of us were allowed to be children, we wore great clothes (for a great deal made by mom, she was a terrific seamstress), always looked clean and fresh (she used hair gel on the boys, which made them look a tad starched, but VERY tidy)
She had her cleaning/housekeeping ritual, which in later years made me rebel and drive me insane! *S*

But I digress...

In his younger days my father was a very handsome fellow. (He still is of course) He was strong, he was athletic, he was very good looking, had pitch black wavy hair, and he drove a huge motor bike for his job.
He wore a funny looking hat/helmet and a long black leather coat and had huge leather mittens.
He was a telephone repair person in the days when telephones were still a luxury, and not everyone had one.
He was always involved in sports. Gave swimming lessons, coached and played soccer (he was a goalie), sailed, walked the "Vierdaagse" a few times.
check it out if you're interested:

http://walking.about.com/library/weekly/aa072799.htm

Besides his job, he was the quintessential "daddy knows best." He knew how to fix anything. His motto was: if I can't fix it, it can't be fixed." He built toys for us, sturdy ones, from solid wood, I mean, some of the trucks he made for the boys could do some damage IF you had been able to actually pick it up and throw it through the room!
He was extremely artistic as well. Could draw a portrait with a pencil made to look like the actual photograph. He was also very musical. He taught me how to play the guitar, and gave me the gift of love for classical music, albeit operetta and cowboy music, it was a start. He still hauls out his harmonica every chance he gets and serenades everyone who will stand still long enough.
He made us all bicycles from scratch, would go around on garbage day and haul parts home. He even detailed them with fine gold lines and whirly decorations. They always looked like they came from the regular bike factory. He found old broken clocks and made them new again, TV's, radios, you name it! (However, when he came home once with parts of a baby grand piano, mom drew the line *lol*)

When I was 5 or so, he made me a beautiful doll house. It had an electric doorbell, a fireplace that lit up, Mom made little curtains, small rugs, they made furniture, it was a real gem.
Unfortunately I was a rather destructive child and this pretty house was destroyed in a matter of days. The empty dollhouse sat on a basement shelf for years after that, they didn't have the heart to throw it away.

I don't remember being punished for it, I probably was, but I just don't recall.
Of course thinking back now, it brings tears to my eyes, and guilt...SOoooo much guilt!

We went on vacation pretty much every year. In Holland at that time every guild or group of workers would get the same two weeks vacation. All the construction workers went at the same time, etc etc.
My parents would rent a bungalow somewhere inland. In the early years we would take a bus. The bus picked up families all over Den Haag and took us all to the location of the Bungalow Park.
Our stuff would be transported by truck. My mom had a wooden crate they used as a trunk. It would have our clothes, linens, food, games, books, and the box of snacks. It took her weeks to fill it up, everything clean and pressed, of course.

The weeks out in the woods were always wonderful. Considering the whole country would fit inside the State of Georgia about 13 times, you can imagine we really didn't GO very far, but to us it was like going to the other side of the world.
Driving on the freeway alone gave us the thrill of feeling we were going somewhere far far away.

When my dad got his drivers license, we would rent a car for our vacation. He always rented an Opel, four door sedan. Boy, did we feel rich! I was always so damn proud of my dad, he looked SO important (and hot!) driving that big car!!

When I became a teenager (I was/am the oldest) my parents ran into some resistance from me.
Being the oldest in a catholic household meant you had to "go through" everything first.
And being the rebel I was, it was tough going. I'm talking about non-catholic boyfriends; refusing to go to church, wanting a job instead of finishing high school, etc etc.

My father though stayed his calm old self. I could always count on him for support. My mom would just simply freak out *S*

One of my fondest memories of my father was the time that I was going on my very first date.
I made a date with a boy I worked with, and became my first really BIG love. We were to meet in Scheveningen, on the Boulevard, and go see the fireworks.
I don't remember how I got there, probably took the tram.

I walked along the Boulevarad a few times, but no boyfriend...nowhere to be seen.
Aw nuts!

As I walked back and forth I felt someone watching me from the street above. I looked up and there was my father, on his motor bike. With a grin on his face. (He had these lopsided grins)

Where are you supposed to meet? he asked...
At the Shooting Gallery, I replied.....
He laughed!!
Well kiddo, you're on the wrong side!!!.......

Geesh!

I ran towards back to where the Shooting Gallery was and low and behold, there was my boyfriend, on his Puch motor bike. *S*

As we walked back together, my dad was still there, grinning from ear to ear, shaking his head.

I felt extremely grateful, and so safe. And so relieved.

Not until I had kids of my own did I understand the anxiety you go through as a parent of a teenager. The way they can just scare the daylights out of you, make you worry yourself into a tizzy, hurt you by their selfish and silly acts.

I hope my father knows that he did a fabulous job raising us.

Even in old age, he never forgets to send us a check around Christmas time (we jokingly call it our "zakgeld"; allowance. He is still being Papa, he will always be the responsible and loving father.

Ever since his health started declining about ten years ago, I've been thinking of what I would say at his funeral.

I can never get past the first sentence:

"Today we say goodbye to the sweetest man in the world....."

I really hope we will have him around for a little while longer, especially now, when we all appreciate and love him so much more....

It's really a shame that it sometimes takes a lifetime to understand what your parents meant to you, how well of a job they really did of raising you.

Thanks mom and dad!

I love you both, very much!

SGMKJ!

Update

Whew!
What a day!

We had another line of strong storms coming through this afternoon (see picture I took right before the power went out), it was very dark here around noon. Around one o'clock the power went out, and the storm hit our county and the counties around us.
Again the worst of it skirted our neighborhood, but the sirens were going time after time, the vocal announcement as well, Something kind of weird as you can't understand a word that is said unless you actually go outside!
I was prepared to dive into the bathroom, had my pillows and blankets ready, my purse with all my stuff, the camera, big flashlight. Wheelie stayed smack in the middle of the living room, never moved from his little spot in front of the tube, even though it wasn't working. I swear the man has a death wish!

Since our phones were out as well, I remembered I had an old type telephone. I had taken it apart, so Boo-Boo could play pushing the buttons. I put the thing back together and stuck it into the wall socket. It worked!

And a good thing too. Minutes after I attached the phone, it rang. It was my sister.
I thought they were wondering if we were okay. But it was something else.
My father seems to have suffered a mild stroke (or something) They spent most of the day at the hospital. He had a scan, but they couldn't tell what was wrong.
What happened was that he had become incoherent during the morning, after breakfast, was putting out a bunch of cups and saucers on the kitchen counter. Talking nonsense, wasn't able to stand up very well, was just "out of it"

So now we play the waiting game. On Monday they are going to see some doctor, I forget which one/what kind. We all have the feeling that my dear daddy's candle is slowly going out.
He has had heart problems for years now, has had open heart surgery, bypassses, angios, until they didn't want to try anymore.
We have all been amazed that he lasted this long, as the last big scare was ten years ago.

As much as we expect our parents to 'go' it is still a shock when it actually happens.
For now we'll wait and see, but I am not locking up my passport just yet.
*sigh*

Anyway, it's now 7 o'clock and all is well, I hear the sounds of Wheel of Fortune and that is a comforting thing.

I hope everyone i Know in Georgia has come through this day without a scratch!

We were damn lucky...once again...
The estimated damage in Atlanta, by the way, is now over $150 MILLION

SGMKJ!

Whoah!!

As I was lounging on my bed last night, waiting for Bugs to get off work and pick up the baby, I had the TV on (on mute) because of the bad weather predictions.

The very first inkling of something amiss was when they cut over to the Georgia Dome, where you could see stuff swinging from the roof inside, some fabric from the roof flapping in the wind.
And everyone on their cell phone!! What a great commercial!!!!

One neat thing here, the game was just experiencing one of those miracle score points, throwing the game in overtime. If the game had ended, the spectators would have been leaving the building and be outside right when the tornado came through. If that had been the case, I'm sure we would have seem many many people hurt, or even killed.

As they split the screen you could see the heavy storm plowing a path smack through the middle of downtown Atlanta on the Doppler radar.

And another system was making it's way east.

Time to get into "tornado mode" I thought, and I got my purse with my keys, my cell phone and my credit cards, and ran our emergency 'plan' through my head: Get everyone in the guest bathroom tub with pillows and the comforter, open the garage door, make sure the flash light is right there next to me.

As time went on more and more reports came in about the damage and of a possible tornado having whipped through the city.

Reporters scrambling in the pouring rain, their camera persons scanning the areas for damage.

Not until a few hours later did it start to dawn on everyone that this was not just some freaky wind that came through, but a real life tornado.

There were a few thousand people in the Dome for the SEC basketball series, and probably a few thousand at the Philips Arena as well for the Hawks game.
As I mentioned before, I noticed everyone on their cell phones. What a perfect time to have these little buggers handy! People did not look panicked. Heck, I would have pooped my pants!
I still wonder how the heck they got out eventually and found their cars and got home!

Many parking lots in Atlanta are street type (as opposed to garages) and the cars in those lots ones around the Dome and the CNN building/Omni hotel were pretty much destroyed by falling debris and huge big ole bill boards. The heavy metal poles just snapped and bent over like they were paperclips.

It wasn't until we woke up this morning and were able to watch the damage in daylight (on TV) that we knew how extensive this event was. The place looked like downtown Baghdad.

Whoah!

We had nothing but a few rain drops here in Cartersville. These storms seem to always either go north of us, or south of us. (knocking on some serious wood here!!)

Another system is currently plowing through Alabama and heading straight for our area, and again, Atlanta.

We are about 50 miles north/west of the city.

Needless to say we're not going anywhere today.
And not only because of the weather.
Last night I was very dizzy around the time Bugs came by. I had to hold on to the wall not to fall over. Didn't say anything, figured I got up too quickly or something.
But this morning I am still a little woozy.
Coming down with something?
The atmosphere affecting me?
Too much stress in my life??

Who the heck knows!

In any event, we're going to stay put, enjoying the peace and quiet, getting some laundry done, and finishing my book.

Have a safe and sunny weekend y'all!

SGMJK!

TGIF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHEW!

It's 8:18pm and the baby is finally asleep!
I am relieved it's the end of my babysitting week. Tomorrow it's Daddy's turn. Seems like Bugs worked something out with him so he can watch his daughter all day without having to expose her to partying friends.

As much as I love this little bugger, I have to admit that taking care of a little one at this point in my life is harder than I thought it would be.
I mean...she crawls, she stands up on stuff, she pulls things off the shelves.
Yesterday my leaded glass floor lamp toppled over, bent the shade, and cracked a few pieces of glass, but didn't really break. Took me a while to vacuum all the little glass bits though.

She is so darn quick, I can't sit for more than a minute at a time before she scoots off somewhere and gets into something.

The fireplace seems to be a very interesting place, and she KNOWS it's a no no. It's comical to watch her reach out and look over her shoulder to make sure we're watching. ARGHHH.

85% of the time I have plenty of patience for this, and most days go very smoothly. There are days however when I just don't feel well, my arthritis acting up, headache, or just basically not being a happy camper. I guess at 61 this is not unusual.

The duration of my daily babysitting job seems to keep getting longer as well.
It used to be that when Bugs had to 'close' she would start at 2pm, dropping Boo-boo off around 1:30.
It has become earlier and earlier the past few weeks, it kinda sneaks up on ya.
This morning I went out by myself to check out the sales at Belk and Kohl's. At 10:30 I get a call: where are you???? Geesh!!!!

When I got home, (I managed to calm down from my little temper flare up) I was able to calmly explain to my daughter that this was getting a little out of hand...something's gotta give here kiddo!
She is pretty worn out herself, working12-15 hours a day. She promised to talk with her boss today. Hmmm...we'll see...

At least she solved the 'Daddy' problem...for now...
I get the feeling Daddy did not tell his parents that they have broken up. Not my problem.

So here we are, nothing on TV, Wheelie is watching MASH reruns, I'm in the bedroom on the computer (duh!)
But when I am done with the blog I am going to put on my cozy socks and robe, swallow a handful of Advil, and crawl into bed with my book.
There's some thundering going on outside and perhaps we'll get us a nice wet loud little storm...we need it.

I wish everyone a very restful weekend!

SGMKJ!

A new career?

There was a segment on the Today show this morning about starting a second or new career, something you could do from the 'home'
It got me thinking.

This chick actor from one of the daily soap operas is baking apple pies on the side. Started with a few for her neighbors, ending up selling over 2000 on the HSN one night and it blew into a nice little mail order business.
Now...I've done some cooking and baking and some catering in the past...it's fun...it's time consuming...it's messy...and it's definately NOT a partime job!!

Today I am busy making Dutch sausijzen broodjes. (sausage in a puff pastry) Made the dough yesterday and stuck it in the fridge overnight.

Got this puff pastry recipe from an old cookbook I have. It uses sour cream and cheddar cheese, and lotsa butter!.

These pastries can be made with all sorts of stuffings, ham and cheese, just cheese, different kinds of sausage with different kinds of spices, you can also make the sweet, with stuffing like almond paste, in which case they become amandel broodjes. (almond paste pastries)

Holland has tons of these little goodies. In the olden days there were those 'automaats', where you could buy stuff from these wall dispensers with little windows. Little cafetarias everywhere, selling fresh French fries (served with mayonaise, not ketsup, and geesh they used to cost 25 cents a bag without, 35 with), and the stuff I am describing here.

Other goodies that come to mind are croquettes (chicken or pork), nasi ballen (fried rice balls, breadcrumbed and deepfried) macaroni/ham/cheese balls (same idea)
I remember my brother making these sometimes when he would come home (late) from where ever. He would make a bunch of them and eat them all, at the same time nipping on the bottle of cognac my dad had 'hidden'

So...my thoughts were drifting towards the idea of starting a little Dutch pastry business on the side, nothing huge, just something small.

But then I thought of the hassles you'd have to go through, getting a business license, having the health inspector come over. I'm not even sure you could use your own kitchen for business anyway.

The health inspector in this part of the world brings goosebumps to our skin, and terror in our hearts as Bugs encounters them at work all the time. Since a few months ago the health department has changed the rules a bit, and they now look over your business with a whole new set of eyes.
Not fun at all. And it creates much stress!!

Back in the days when I was in between jobs (I left Macy's to do some serious volunteer working and taking care of my mother in law) I was asked to provide lunch for the managers' monthly (?) meeting at Macy's. The operations manager was a good friend of mine and he wanted me to do a vegetarian "healthy" lunch.
So I rolled up my sleeves, made my famous veggie lasagna, tossed a humongeous salad together, made yoghurt smoothies, and had strawberry stuffed crepes for desert.

It was a huge success. After that I provided lunch for the staff every time the store had a big One Day Sale, when the department managers weren't able to take a lunch break.
One of my oldest and dearest Macy's friends ran the Cellar Cafe at that time. So I was able to use her wonderful ovens for the lasagnas, which kept getting bigger and bigger. I would assemble them at home, cook them in the Cellar's kitchen. Perfect!

I catered a friend's parents 50th wedding anniversary, and another friend's son's engagement party.
Then the Macy's manager's Christmas dinner. The largest beef tenderloin you've ever seen, and my famous chocolate mousse.

In between these 'caterings' I would bake cookies for all kinds of events.

At the time I worked as a volunteer for a home for people with AIDS here in Atlanta.
You guessed it, I usually provided the food for the volunteer meetings. As I got more duties there over time, I was asked to be part of the volunteer training group at the Red Cross offices in Atlanta. Of course I dragged my tubs of fruit salad, and sandwiches along there too.

Looking back, it was a lot of fun. But I had a lot of help. My husband was able to do many many things for me then.

This whole business could have turned into a huge to do, but at one point it just got to be too cumbersome. I did have a nice large kitchen, but after catering the anniversary party for 100 people, I realized that this could not be done in a home kitchen, big or small. And that's where we got stuck, and my short lived career as caterer was over.

Watching that segment this morning brought back the memories though. And it would be very tempting.....
Who knows....perhaps when Boo-Boo goes to school...

With this family you never know what's going to happen next.

Never a dull moment!

:>)

Have a super day y'all! It's going to be 70° here today! And when Boo-Boo wakes up I'm going to go for a nice stroll.

SGMKJ!

Tuesday

I wish I had something to write about, but I don't. The motivation isn't there right now.
It's probably a good thing. Perhaps my mind is at peace for now.
The weather is getting better and better. After some real snow flurries on Saturday and a few more cold nights, it looks like Georgia is on the brink of SPRING!

Which mean that I have to gt off my duff and clean up my little yard, as I promised. It's not going to take much, but I need to get out the old mulch and dead creeping Jenny, as well as the wild strawberry that seems to want to take over the entire yard.

But it means removing the pavers, the bird bath, and bending over a lot. My back won't like that.
But perhaps if I do it bit by bit.......

It doesn't look like either hydrangeas are doing anything. No new green growth, darn.

Everything else is already gone, most of it frozen and thrown out. There are a few pots with hostas, perhaps they overwintered better, I won't know until they poke their new growth up. Then there are my elephant ears. After pulling out the mother plant last year, I found a few of her children popping up here and there.

Since we can't water anything outside, I hate to put too many plants in the ground right now.

So...we're on a holding pattern....is okay...*lol*

Have a super day y'all!

SGMKJ!

Damned if you do....

It's another Saturday.

Where I planned to have some quality time with Wheelie and myself, doing mundane stuff like going grocery shopping.

Daddy was supposed to "have" the baby today.
Instead of "day off" I put a "?" on my calendar, having the feeling that plans might change.

Well, they did.

Okay. Here is the basic background.

Bugs and Daddy were living together for the past 4 years.

Bugs bought a house.

Bugs is a restaurant manager and works 12-15 hours a day, 5 days a week. Whether she is "opening" or "closing" she is never done before 10:30pm.

Bugs got "oops" pregnant; decided to 'have' the baby (something that was really never an issue, thank God)

Daddy has a job, but is being paid under the table. He hasn't had a drivers license since 2004. He has made no effort to go to DUI classes, or go through the hassle of getting his license back in those 4 years, instead he spent his money on buying guitars, weed, beer, and an above ground swimming pool, which got destroyed by bad weather.

Daddy is not the most motivated fellow. His own parents seem to be practising the "tough love" thing, while we bend over backwards to help them out anyway we can.

So a few weeks ago, Bugs throws Daddy out, sick and tired of his drinking and not accomplishing much, and basically being an irresponsible adult.

She still wants Boo-Boo to be in Daddy's life. Of course Daddy can only see her when it suits him. Not being able to drive gives him a wonderful excuse for not doing a whole lot of things.

So Daddy now lives with a couple of friends of his (rent free?). Still has his job, but announced today that his boss is not paying him right now. (HUH?)

The plan was for Boo-Boo to spend the day with Daddy. Last night I was asked if I could pick the baby up at 5, because Daddy doesn't want her around when the friends are having 'guests' (read: party/beer)

This is where I drew the line.

Now, my question is. Am I being a complete bitch?

When I promised to be a babysit-oma, I meant it. But when the parents are not at work, I expect them to be responsible for their offspring.

I feel that Bugs is enabling Daddy, and in a way so are we.

I think she should stand her ground and limit his visitations to whenever he gets his shit together, has his drivers license and the use of a car, lives in his own place, so he can provide a safe and loving environment for his daughter.

So why am I feeling so damn guilty for saying no?

The end of the story is that I told her I would not pick the baby up at 5, but that I WILL babysit her here at our house for the entire day instead. I am not going to be a chauffeur/babysitter at the whim of someone who wants to party and hang out with his friends.

Bugs cut off Daddy's phone the other day, and today is the day the service will be disconnected. Daddy knew about this last week, so he had plenty of time to get himself another phone, the prepaid ones are cheap. I doubt if he did. I am hoping she can get in touch with him about the plan change.

Now...Wheelie pretty much agrees with me, (whether he really does, I don't know, sometimes I feel he's afraid to disagree with me, he might feel vulnerable, but that's another story. But I'll take his word for it.)
He did point out that there is always another side of the story.

I know that!!

But when the fallout of their relationship affects our life, I feel I it's my right to put a stop to it.

Bugs might not be willing or able to stop enabling this boy, but I will.

It remains to be seen how this will affect my relationship with her. It scares the hell out of me. Seems like every time I put my foot down with any of my kids/step kids, they disappear from my life.

Damned if you do...damned if you don't.

Time to get the laundry going, as I'm not going anywhere...

Have a great weekend y'all!

SGMKJ!

Rubber Duckie....You're The One.........

It's a little after ten am here and we just finished watching Sesame Street with Boo-Boo. She is now down for her morning nap. Seems to be the only time during the day I get to work on my blog. That's ok though :>)

She loves most of it. Is nutso about Elmo's World, loves Bert and Ernie, but is a little scared of the Count. She starts rocking and humming as soon as the music starts, points at the screen when she recognizes someone, and almost says: Elmo (mmmoooo)

She wanders off when she's not completely interested, as we, opa and oma, sit there, glued to the tube, watching.
Today they replayed the Rubber Duckie skit. We both sang along, Hahahaha! What fun!

Then we looked at each other and wondered how long we've been watching Sesame Street.

Well, in a way we watched it with 4 generations of kids. In the late 60s (I believe the show had a few pilot runs in 1968 or 1969) we watched it with the stepkids who are in their 40s now (mine from my first marriage, and Wheelies as well)

Then we watched it with my son. Coincidentally, both Elmo and my son are the same age, born in 1972, they both turn 36 this year.

Then we watched it with our daughter, who was born in 1983.

And now we watch it with Boo-Boo, born ten months ago.

This program is absolutely timeless. The characters still fresh and fun. Some of the old "real human" gang still pops up now and then, like Bob, Maria, and Gordon.

I love the new muppets, Abby Cadabby, with the little hoarse voice, the Bear family, with Curly Bear who can't say the letter "R" and says "W" instead.

But my personal favorites have to be Bert and Ernie. Bert the nerd, and Ernie, my brother from New Zealand/nephew from Spain. (I often compare the characters with real people in my life, and sometimes the similarities in character are just amazing, sorry guys! hehe)

It's just amazing how enduring this program is and has been the past 49 years. It's still so fresh and fun every day, and a delight for the very young and us, the senior gang.

In the world of today, where so many things are so uncertain, scary, weird, and sad, it comfortable to know there are still some things that can lift your spirit in a wonderful and simple way.

Have a super day y'all!

SGMKJ!

Traditions!

Last night I watched BaBaWaWa on 20/20. A very well done 2 hour program about the English Royal family.
I love watching programs about the English Royals. I wish they would pay as much attention to all the other Royal families in Europe.
Talk about history! Talk about tradition! Pomp and Circumstance! The fabulous costumes, the jewels, the horses, the carriages, the castles....

Of course you have to have grown up in Europe to really appreciate this phenom.
Which I did...I spent the first 21 years of my life in Holland.

Our respect, admiration, and love for our Royal family has always been unquestioned.
It was just a part of life.
There was a sense of comfort about it all. The color orange everywhere on Queens' Day (The Queen's birthday.) The opening day of Parliament, when the Golden Carriage and the white horses came out of the stables. The Royal family all decked out in beautiful garments, the jewels, the crowns, the complete splendor.
My father grew up in a house a stone's throw away from the Palace, and the Royal Stables.

Whenever there was a parade, we were able to have a front row view of the horses, the riders, the carriages.
I vividly recall the way my tummy would rumble when those huge horses clip clapped by us on the cobblestones.
How it was kind of scary to 'feel' the drum corps march by, the music just vibrating through every cell of your body.

And then waving at OUR Queen and Prince, the Princesses.
I remember telling my mom I wanted to be a Princess when I grew up. She said: you won't like it, you'll have to wave everywhere you go. That sort of put a damper on my wish.
I mean, who would want to be forced to wave ALL the time??

It wasn't until on one of my recent annual trips home that I (finally) visited Paleis Het Loo, the summer house of the Royals since William and Mary had it built in 1984, that I really learned more about the House of Orange, and the families. (Can you tell I used to fail my history classes?)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Het_Loo

The history of our Royal family is very interesting. As is the more familiar history of the English Royal family.

The program I watched yesterday made me realize that we don't have this in the US. This age old line of Kings and Queens, the traditions, the hoopla.
We have to get used to a new president and his family every 4 or 8 years, it just doesn't compare.
To me there is not much of a connection with our past, the way the European Kingdoms have.

So I'll just have to live on my memories. How exciting it was when we finally had our own TVset and were able to watch the Queen's birthday 'defilee'
With Her Majesty and the entire family on the dais in front of the palace in Soestdijk, while hundreds of people walked by her to wish her a Happy Birthday. The steps filling up with thousands of bouquets of flowers, everyone with brilliant smiling faces, greeting and honoring their beloved Queen.

Of course times are changing there too. There are people who would rather do away with all that Royal stuff. And in most countries, the Queens and Kings are pretty much figureheads.
But somehow they keep their subjects 'together' There is that sense of 'family' and respect and love for the rich history.

It will be interesting to see how things will change when Elisabeth hands over the reins to Charles (Personally I wish she would skip him and let the younger generation rule)
And when Dutch Prins Willem-Alexander will follow in Beatrix's footsteps.

I am regrettably not very familiar with the other Royal families in Europe, but I hope they will rule for a long time to come, even in their diminished capacity.

And to come back to the English Royals, what stupendous women they were, Elisabeth I, Victoria, Elisabeth II...

Take some time some day and check out the history on these gals. what unique and amazingly strong human beings they had to have been, still are...they gave new meaning to the phrase: Girls Rule!

Even though I became a US citizen, the little Dutch girl in me is ever so grateful for having been born during a time when Kings and Queens "ruled"

SGMKJ!

In dreams...I walk....Alone....

I love my dreams. The ones I manage to remember usually occur after my 6 o'clock "having to get up and pee" break. When I crawl back between my cozy flannel sheets again for an hour or so.

The one I woke up with this morning was very interesting.

Wheelie and I were living in some sort of senior apartment complex. No front doors, and we could see right into the neighbor's front room. The had recently changed their decor from all pastels/Florida style, to very modern but fussy black red and gray.

I wanted to try out the 'panic button' in the apartment, and I did. The alarm sounded very loud and shrill. Nobody came. Hmmm...I thought....
My neighbor explained to me that he was in charge of responding to the alarm and since he knew it was me just trying it out, he ignored it.

We got ready for breakfast, which was some huge buffet affair in the dining room.
Tables and counters filled with pastries, cakes, breads. But no cereal. Wheelie wanted cereal, the hot kind.

So, I got pissed and complained that it would have taken much shorter and cost much less to scramble a few eggs and make a big pot of oatmeal, then to stand in the kitchen all night baking pastries and breads.

Anyway, we decided to leave and find a restaurant that served breakfast.
Wheelie was impatient and ran ahead of me...I tried very hard to keep up with him in his wheel chair, but he disappeared on the horizon.

I found myself smack in the middle of Madrid. I noticed how nice the wheelchair ramps were constructed on all the sidewalks, some sea foam blue popcorn concrete that was smoothed out at a perfect angle. I marveled at how clean everything was and bright and sunny.

Wheelie was nowhere in sight, and I had acquired a stroller, with Boo-Boo in it, she was hungry too, dirty and snotty all over.

We ran into a couple and asked them if they knew where this restaurant was that served smoked salmon only on Sunday. They didn't know. Another couple walked up, and we asked again. They told us it was in some sort of huge important Embassy building, and they couldn't give me directions because I would only get lost again...they said...

At this point I woke up, it was 7:30 and we had to scramble, because Bugs would be here with Boo-Boo at 8.

It would have been neat to find out if I ever met up with Wheelie again, or if we found the restaurant.

It's always fun to try and explain dreams, this one has a few interesting points.

It would be interesting to hear y'all's interpretations.

It's a wonderful sunny spring day here in Georgia. Took Boo-Boo out shopping, but didn't buy anything.

Have a happy day!

SGMKJ!