Saturday already?......

My sense of time is completely off here. Woke up this morning thinking it was Friday. Oh well...
I am hoping Bugs's schedule is "late" today (meaning she works from 1 until closing) so I can work on my blog a little.

So...lets go back to last week....

My sister's birthday was on Friday. She turned 52. AHhh... too be that young again! *lol*
We had a small party at her house in the evening. Our mom and dad came, by 'free' taxi. My sister's two best friends with their husbands, Her son, his wife and their two children.
It was a good old fashioned birthday celebration. Like old times. Singing happy birthday to my sister standing on a chair. Lots of presents, cake, and just the great feeling of being surrounded by your friends and loved ones.

My mom had bought both of us new shower curtains as presents. Really, REALLY ugly ones!!! We just looked at each other and rolled our eyes, it was rather funny, trying to keep a straight face. But we knew she meant well, and accepted the gifts with grace.

Last week today I went and visited my aunt and uncle. My father's youngest sister. She was my most favorite auntie when I was 'young'
She is very talented, musical, artsy, and most of all very modern in her way of thinking. She was always there for me when I had problems. With my mom, with boy friends, with life in general.
I used to stay with her for weeks sometimes. She and my uncle always lived in a free standing house, as opposed to us who lived in apartments. My uncle worked at a bank, and thus was a step above us in/class rank. Made more money, better educated, a bit more worldly.
Oh yes, the 'class' issues were real in those days. Perhaps they still are, I don't really know, or care.

My aunt and uncle live in Velp, which is pretty much smack in the middle of the country. To me, one of the prettiest areas in Holland. Woods and a few gentle sloping hills, and heidevelden. Heather fields on sandy grounds and beautiful delicate birch trees.
They have been living in a high rise senior flat for the past 15 years or so, on the tenth floor. From their windows you can see Germany on a clear day.

Only recently my aunt and I started corresponding again. I needed some stories and pictures about my grand parents, as I am making a half-arsed attempt to write my memoirs.

It was too bad I could only visit them for a few hours. Would have loved to stay for a few days and really get down and "talk" But as it was, the visit was wonderful. I even met my cousin Wilma again who I had not seen since she was a child.
It was just comforting to realize that we still had those ties, that we were able to pick up where we left off.

On Sunday I spent a few more hours with my parents. My sister went for a long walk, she could not handle another visit with them. It gave me the opportunity for some quality time with them.
I noticed how frail they are becoming. How they have moments of forgetfulness, frustration of not being able to express themselves well, and all that while bravely trying to maintain their sense of humor, and a certain rhythm in their routine, shuffling along in their little apartment.

It was comforting to sit there with them for a while, just talking nonsense, looking at picture books, talking about "vroeger" (the past)
I am very painfully aware that every time I visit, it could be the last time I see them. It's kind of weird though to make a big fuss about saying goodbye every time. I am sure we are all aware of the fact that THIS may be the last hug or kiss.
We managed to keep it 'cool' though, as if we'd be back tomorrow/next week/next year...

Not until I get home again do I allow myself to feel the finality, and the sadness.

Sunday afternoon we had my 'other' aunt come and visit. My mother's youngest sister. We made arrangements with her two daughters and son. They did not tell their mom where they were going. As a matter of fact, my aunt didn't know who we were at first when she stepped through the door. She didn't know my sisters house, as she had never visited her there. I had not seen my cousins for at least 30 years. The look on her face was priceless when the penny dropped.

It was a great visit. Everyone grown up, families of their own, my aunt looked good, was very surprised. When they left I realized that we really didn't talk much, we just visited, bullshitted about stuff, just enjoyed being there and seeing each other again. My oldest cousin gave me a big hug when they left and looked me in the eye, and somehow reflected what we both were feeling and thinking. "We HAVE to keep in touch, we missed ya!"
Those tiny moments always stick with me for a long time, true moments of shared understanding and love. No amount of time and talking and reminiscing can compare to just one of those moments.

On Monday we visited the mother of my very first boyfriend. Yeah, the one that broke my 17 year old heart!! I just recently 'found' her again when my mom sent me the obituary of her partner/companion. I sent her a card and she sent one back, inviting me to come and visit if I was in the neighborhood.
Another blast from the past. Wow! 45 years. And another lifetime to talk about, catch up with.

My sister and I took a walk on the beach after that, sat in the sun on a terrace for a while, looked out on a very calm North sea. I think we were both pooped from all the hubbub of the last days.

I am very grateful that she was so gracious to be my chauffeur, even though she was/is going through a breakup with her man friend and I'm sure is feeling pretty down about it, along with her menopause. She is a trouper though, she made my visit a pleasure, made my stay worth while.

I'm sure she blew a sigh of relieve when she dropped me off at the airport, heck... I did the same.
No matter what, these visits are exhausting, mentally as well as physically.
But the love we have for each other has sustained us through some wild times, and hopefully will through the rest of our lives.

Thanks kiddo! I love you!

SGMKJ!