Ambivalence

Something has been on my mind for a few years now.

For some reason it popped back into my head this morning, and I thought I might throw it on my blog, see if I can get some perspective on this issue from someone...anyone...

It concerns some people I know, I won't name names, so I'll try and make this as hypothetical as I can.

A few years ago the main person in this story (I'll call him Stan) told me that his step father, who still lives in the same town that he lives in, was thought to have sexually abused/used his sister when they were little and when they were living as a family. The family was a bit on the alternative side, living in a very free, hippie-type environment. The stepfather (and the mother for that matter) thought it was normal for the daughter to become sexually 'knowledgeable' at a young age with the help of her stepfather (and possibly her mother.) Stan's mother died 23 years ago.

Stan also told me that the mother of his eleven year old daughter was almost raped by this man, or at least approached by him. She brought charges, but dropped the charges eventually.
Stan's other two young daughters moved to another town when their mom remarried.
This mom talked to me on a few occasions and told me she didn't want the girls exposed to this man, and that she was always on her toes when they were around him. She never allowed the girls to be alone with him.

I have not talked with any of these folks in over 3-4 years, but I've spoken with another close friend of the family, who also knows about these accusations.


Now, here's the thing, we don't really know if this is all true, having heard it via via....never from the horse's mouth. I've asked Stan about it, tried to talk with him, but he just shrugged it off, said things were okay, whatever THAT meant. The stepfather was still in their lives, still lives in the same town, apparently still interacts with the family.

So it comes down to rumors, basically. And the stuff with Stan's sister happened 30 some years ago.

The man is still living close to Stan and his little girl. But we haven't had any contact for a long time, let alone talked about this.

So....in my gut I feel guilty...on the other hand I wonder why I should poke my nose in, stir up stuff people might not want to stir up. After all, aside from the children, there are adults involved, in their 40s, who are closer to the issue, and should have done something about it.

I can't talk to Wheelie about it, as he is close to these people, and he would certainly tell me to just let it be, that 'they' need to solve their problems and deal with it themselves if they want to.

So here is my ambivalence. Is it my place to say something to someone/the authorities, after all these years, not really knowing exactly what has happened?

I am not close to the adults involved anymore. I am worried about Stan's daughter, however, she is becoming a teenager. Will she be safe? Will Stan be able to keep her safe, knowing what this old guy is or might be capable of?

It would really help to get some other perspectives on this.

If you don't want to leave a post/message on this forum, you can email me personally.

Thanks!

SGMKJ!