Ambivalence

This is a picture of Wheelie (left) with his half sister and half brother. All from a different daddy.

We have several pictures of this crew with grandmas, grandpas, aunts and uncles and mom. This one probably one of the last of them together.
Mom had little Johnny adopted by to her brother-in-law and his wife. It was war time, she was no longer married to his father, and times were very tough.

Mom worked on the docks, a real Rosie the riveter , short feisty gal with her boots, her helmet and her suspenders.

Wheelie pretty much lived with his grandmother during the war. He raised chickens and rabbits, and exchanged them for butter and meat. He did odd jobs, his chores at home were doing the laundry and the baking. Yes, 7-8 years old and baking bread and cakes. He also learned how to embroider, we still have a few pieces.

When his sister Lucille was a teenager, she got pregnant and Mom kicked her out.
Amazing, since Mom herself was only 17 when Wheelie was born, and had a shotgun type of wedding.

So around the time Wheelie finished UC Berkeley and went into the army, he lost sight of both his siblings.

He never saw his sister again, but he did see his brother, who lived in the neighborhood, and he thinks he had a pretty good life, compared to the hardships Wheelie suffered at his own home.

He can't remember when he saw Johnny last. They all completely lost touch.

Ever since we've been married I've been fascinated with this family.

Mom was married five times. The first four marriages were annulled by the church. How in the world she ever got THAT done is a true mystery. But we found all found all four documents when we went through her stuff after she passed away.

I found Lucille's social security card. So I did a search online. And low and behold, I found her. She sadly passed away in 1999 in Monterrey, California.
We do know what her married name was so we could try and find any children. I just want to know what she died of, whether she had MJD, whether she knew what she was suffering from if she did (it's a rare and pretty unknown disease).

But Wheelie wasn't close to Lucille, apparently Lucille was not the sweetest flower in the bouquet.

But he always told me that Johnny was a sweet kid. And that he was glad he had a better life.

So why in the world wouldn't he want to find him???

Again, why isn't he curious about finding out if Johnny also inherited the family curse.

He never wanted to. I tried several times over the years.

Last week I brought it up again. I showed him a search I had done on the internet and came up with a list of pretty good possibilities.

Wheelie hmmm-ed and aahh---ed, and I got the feeling he was JUST a teeny tiny bit curious.

So I made prints of the picture and now I am wondering if I should just send some of the possibilities on that list a simple letter with the picture.

I wouldn't want to tell Wheelie. I just want to find out for myself.

I know one of the reasons he doesn't want to try is because of the disastrous reunion with his own dad after years.

I guess it's an iffy proposition. You'll never know what would happen.
And once you find someone, you cannot UNfind him again.

Still, WHAT if..........

Ambivalence...........

I love looking at Wheelie's childhood pictures. He was such an adorable little guy.


SGMKJ!