Mom update

I talked again with everyone last night, including my brother from New Zealand, who's birthday it is as well today. He turned 58.

My phone card is getting a good workout from all the calls coming and going from and to Holland, New Zealand and Australia.

Mom is having more X rays done, sonograms, more blood testing, and more watching. She's off the IV and the oxygen and she was feeling a tad better when I talked with her an hour ago. She had a nice shower, and the food is excellent. Of course having three fellows as co-patients in her room make life interesting as well.

BUT

It's time (all of us kids agree on this) that they start thinking about moving to an assisted living facility.
Of course the suggestion was scuffed at and a firm NO was heard around the world.

Something my sister in particular is extremely frustrated about. She has no POA, so she can't even request an urgency declaration to get them moved in quickly.

My parents have always extremely independent. Even getting rid of the car was fought tooth and nail, until my father finally did it himself. In my opinion, he wanted to be the one making the decision. I understand that.
So it's likely that THEY will eventually make the decision about moving as well.

I suggested my sister talk with their doctors, get them to suggest a move, as they seem to listen to the authority of the DOCTORS as opposed to the "children."

The cardiologist asked my mother some subtle questions: are you living alone? do you have help? etc. So it sounds to me he is very concerned about them living alone. So obviously he's concerned about their Independence. They will need more outside help. God forbid someone else makes their bed and clean their kitchen, and irons their clothes.

My father, as you know, is a walking time bomb. His carotid arteries are blocked so severely, we're all surprised he is still in upright position. (95% and 75% blocked!!)
It's not a question of if, but when.

So as we were making plans for my eventual trip to Holland when the time comes (It's taking more organization this time around with Wheelies's care (he refuses extra 'help' too), Bugs and Boo-boo), we never thought it would be my mother who would hit the sheets before my father.


It's difficult to make a decision whether to go now, or wait. New Zealand is in the same situation of course. But consenses is that we sit it out for now.

My parents had a beautiful life together. They are part of a dying generation, and I don't mean that literally. Theirs was a life of hard work, simple pleasures, lots of humor, patience, and devout spirituality, and a fierce sense of family.

So no, I am not going to see her. But I am going to call her every day.

It's just impossible for me to take the trip now, and perhaps needing to go back for their funerals again later. Too many obligations here at home, absolutely no money. My parents understand that, thank God.

So again, we wait and see. I hope they can be persuaded to take a chance on moving into that brand new modern facility where they can stay until they pass. Where they can move from assisted to nursing home to hospital/hospice all under one roof. Everything in one complex, hairdresser, doctors, massage therapy, coffeeshop, small stores, baker, butcher, greengrocer, snackbar, pharmacy, pizza joint. The assisted living apartments for couples is larger than the flat they now live in, so they wouldn't have to get rid of anything. Alarm buttons in every room at several levels on the walls, handicapped access bathrooms, toilets. MAN, I wanna move there!!!! And they have a small kitchen, but can also eat in the public diningroom.

In the meantime we sit tight. I'm a long ways away from everyone and everything but this is affecting me more than I thought it would. At least I have my little white pills. Not that I've been gobbling them down, but just the knowledge that I have access, makes a big difference.

The cold seems to be waning in both Boo and me. Boo still coughs like a sailor when I put her down, but we've remedied that problem by placing a pillow under her mattress, elevating her head, and running the humidifier when she's sleeping. It helps.

I've been hitting the Emergen-C and that stuff really really works.

It's hot outside, in the high 90s, with the heat index it seems like we're in the 100s.

My plants are surviving, and thriving.

SO....that's going to have to be it for today.

SGMKJ!