Picture of my Opa Blok. Getting ready to go on his once in a lifetime trip to Canada, to see his son and daughter-in-law in BanffHe was 75 years old, never been outside his comfort zone: Den Haag.
"Can you live with your dad's decision? It sounds wise to me, but hope you won't second guess yourself later if he strokes anytime soon. "
Hi friend, and thanks for leaving another very nice comment. To answer your question. Yes, I am completely at lease with my dad's decision. No, I won't second guess myself. He and I have talked about this issue many times.
Initially it was a surprise to me to hear how he felt. This was a few years ago.
His own father died at the age of 78. My father didn't think he would live longer than that. I recall his fear when his 78th birthday was looming.
When my dad was 76 he had triple bypass surgery. When he was 78 he had more bypass surgery. Both times, we thought we would lose him. Both times he pulled through.
That last surgery was ten years ago at Christmas time. For some reason we were all in Holland at that time. My brother from New Zealand, me. The last time we had Christmas together, with all four of us kids there.
I vividly remember my mothers fear. She was convinced he was going to die. It was so hard to see her that way, she was so frightened.
You see, the doctors did not want to operate on my father, thought it was too risky. They kept him in the hospital for 5 weeks, until they found a surgeon at the Amsterdam University hospital who agreed to take the chance.
Lucky for everyone, the surgery was a success.
We were off the hook. We visited dad in the hospital with big balloons (It's Girl!, and Big Bird) and we all sighed a huge sigh of relief.
It's now ten years later. He is turning 88. Who woulda thunk! Certainly not him! Once he was over the 78 year hump, he calmed down and now he is ready.
He tells me he lead a very privileged life. A wonderful family, a wife he adores, children and grand kids he just loves to pieces. He traveled to far away places, was able to have enough money to be comfortable during the past 23 years of retirement, in itself a lifetime.
I've been blessed to have known a few friends, who explained how they felt about dying. I've seen the peace in their eyes, welcoming death, not being afraid.
Back when I worked at Macy's I had a very dear friend, Steve, who was our store's operation manager. After I left Macy's he became the ops mgr at our store downtown Atlanta, and we still had lunch now and then when I happened to be "in town"
We had a special relationship. We discovered we had the same Guru. It brought us very close. We also both had a wayward child who gave us lots of problems, we loved to sit and bitch about "those darn kids."
The last time I saw him we had lunch and he told me that he could not "see" into the future anymore. Almost like his life was done, he simply could not picture himself in the future. The problems at home were pretty much solved, it was almost like he was saying: I am ready to go.
Two weeks later he died when his house burned down. It blew me away that he somehow knew. Frankly, it still gives me goosebumps when I think about it.
Then there were the few friends I came to know and love at Jerusalem house, a home for people with AIDS, where I volunteered. All of the ones who eventually died, did so without fear, with dignity, teaching everyone around them important lessons about living and dying.
My auntie was ready too. She welcomed her leaving. Once she wasn't able to go to the casino anymore, the fun was over for her. She was glad to "go."
So, when the time comes, we all just hope my father won't suffer, or will be forced to live weeks or months las a proverbial vegetable.
My sister and I have had many talks about this. I think we are all ready.
And we are all so very very grateful to have had a father so special.
We will be sad, we certainly will miss him, but boy, the legacy and the memories..........
It's overcast here in Georgia. The promised/expected thunderstorms yesterday fizzled out. We had some nice steady rain for a few hours, and my roses look so pretty, my Creeping Jenny bright chartreuse, looks wonderful.
It's Friday again, another week dissapeared so quickly, too quickly.
I'm going to make myself useful this morning and vacuum the place. Mop the floors. Getting ready for Boo-boo.
WHO, by the way, is now starting to climb ON to things and IN to things. Loves her big toy basket, just sits there on top of her stuffed animals and "reads" her books.
Yesterday she turned over a plastic bin and sat on top of that, hollering at the top of her lungs, like she conquered Mt. Everest!
She stands by herself now ten-twelve seconds at a time....we have the camera at the ready for when she starts to actually WALK!
Argh!!!
SGMKJ!
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