Spring has sprung...almost...

took this one last week :>)

Easter has come and gone. As holidays go here in this household, it wasn't much of one.
Of course I made sure Wheelie, Boo-boo and Bugs got their Easter basket with goodies; I sent my relatives cards, did my duty...

Wheelie and I went to breakfast at the Cracker Barrel this morning, trying to beat the church crowd. We need not have worried. Usually there are throngs of pink and white dressed ladies with amazing hats, white socks and shoes, men in suits and kids with well combed hair, buttons and bows.
Perhaps we were too early, all we saw were folks like us, in comfortable clothes, jeans and sweaters. Perhaps this holiday isn't much in vogue anymore. Perhaps the churches were not 'out' yet.

I checked out the egg drop at the park yesterday. There was promise of about 10.000 eggs being dropped onto the sports field/track from a helicopter. Great idea, lousy planning.
With the promise of hidden 'prizes' the adults overtook the field once the eggs were falling, and even though the adults were asked to leave the field and let the kids go for the eggs, .......well....I was disgusted.

Walking back I saw many crying tots with empty baskets. What a sad sight.
Whoever came up with the idea had his heart in the right place, must have spent a lot of money and energy to make this event a success, alas...
I hope they will make better plans for next year.

I had a lovely long talk with my sister in Holland this afternoon, at least I did get to use my voice today, actually speak to a live person, laugh, share stories. Sounds pathetic, doesn't it, but it's true. It was snowing there. My father is doing better, he decided to sell his car (FINALLY!!! Whew!!) He doesn't remember being in the hospital last week, blocked it out completely. He's having tests this week, Tuesday and Friday.

Bugs came by to pick up the stroller on her way to a birthday party. She didn't even take the baby out of the car. Would have been nice to spend a few minutes here pretending to do the family/holiday thing.
It made me sad, and I allowed myself to wallow in self pity for a little while.
Then I had myself a big bowl of ice cream and curled up with a new book, and felt a little better.

I want to thank Joann, who left me a thoughtful message. Yes, anxiety is peeking around the corner. But it has before, I've tried meds, therapy, alcohol, ....The only thing that helped then was Ativan. Having no health insurance or a doctor, I can't get that now. Not without spending a few hundred bucks I don't have.

I am learning to 'surrender'. It's hard to surrender, harder than quitting smoking. But sometimes I succeed, if only a little bit, when I can feel myself relax and really understand that THIS is my life, I just need to deal with it. Shit happens and all that.
Mind over matter.
It really does work, but it takes an awful lot of willpower.

I guess the hardest part of it all is not being among other people. Being able to laugh and talk. I miss having a job, miss doing something meaningful outside the house like volunteering. But that will all just have to wait. Right now there just isn't any free time for that.
And most of our friends have dropped us like hot potatoes.
Here in these neck-of-the-woods, if you do not belong to a church, you really are out of luck.

There are only two ladies from my past here that I am in contact with. I love both of them for their tenacity, for the phone calls. One of them is an old friend from my days at Rich's department store. She drags me out to breakfast once every few months. I am so grateful, it means so much to me that someone cares and takes the time to contact me, drag me out of the house.

I've had several people ask me lately what Wheelie's ailment is.
It's called Machado Joseph Disease.

I will write about that tomorrow, right now I'm going to take off everything that's tight and throw on my robe and slippers.

Wishing everyone who reads this a very meaningful Easter, and a happy Spring!
Don't be shy, I love reading your comments.

SGMKJ!