Damned if you do....

It's another Saturday.

Where I planned to have some quality time with Wheelie and myself, doing mundane stuff like going grocery shopping.

Daddy was supposed to "have" the baby today.
Instead of "day off" I put a "?" on my calendar, having the feeling that plans might change.

Well, they did.

Okay. Here is the basic background.

Bugs and Daddy were living together for the past 4 years.

Bugs bought a house.

Bugs is a restaurant manager and works 12-15 hours a day, 5 days a week. Whether she is "opening" or "closing" she is never done before 10:30pm.

Bugs got "oops" pregnant; decided to 'have' the baby (something that was really never an issue, thank God)

Daddy has a job, but is being paid under the table. He hasn't had a drivers license since 2004. He has made no effort to go to DUI classes, or go through the hassle of getting his license back in those 4 years, instead he spent his money on buying guitars, weed, beer, and an above ground swimming pool, which got destroyed by bad weather.

Daddy is not the most motivated fellow. His own parents seem to be practising the "tough love" thing, while we bend over backwards to help them out anyway we can.

So a few weeks ago, Bugs throws Daddy out, sick and tired of his drinking and not accomplishing much, and basically being an irresponsible adult.

She still wants Boo-Boo to be in Daddy's life. Of course Daddy can only see her when it suits him. Not being able to drive gives him a wonderful excuse for not doing a whole lot of things.

So Daddy now lives with a couple of friends of his (rent free?). Still has his job, but announced today that his boss is not paying him right now. (HUH?)

The plan was for Boo-Boo to spend the day with Daddy. Last night I was asked if I could pick the baby up at 5, because Daddy doesn't want her around when the friends are having 'guests' (read: party/beer)

This is where I drew the line.

Now, my question is. Am I being a complete bitch?

When I promised to be a babysit-oma, I meant it. But when the parents are not at work, I expect them to be responsible for their offspring.

I feel that Bugs is enabling Daddy, and in a way so are we.

I think she should stand her ground and limit his visitations to whenever he gets his shit together, has his drivers license and the use of a car, lives in his own place, so he can provide a safe and loving environment for his daughter.

So why am I feeling so damn guilty for saying no?

The end of the story is that I told her I would not pick the baby up at 5, but that I WILL babysit her here at our house for the entire day instead. I am not going to be a chauffeur/babysitter at the whim of someone who wants to party and hang out with his friends.

Bugs cut off Daddy's phone the other day, and today is the day the service will be disconnected. Daddy knew about this last week, so he had plenty of time to get himself another phone, the prepaid ones are cheap. I doubt if he did. I am hoping she can get in touch with him about the plan change.

Now...Wheelie pretty much agrees with me, (whether he really does, I don't know, sometimes I feel he's afraid to disagree with me, he might feel vulnerable, but that's another story. But I'll take his word for it.)
He did point out that there is always another side of the story.

I know that!!

But when the fallout of their relationship affects our life, I feel I it's my right to put a stop to it.

Bugs might not be willing or able to stop enabling this boy, but I will.

It remains to be seen how this will affect my relationship with her. It scares the hell out of me. Seems like every time I put my foot down with any of my kids/step kids, they disappear from my life.

Damned if you do...damned if you don't.

Time to get the laundry going, as I'm not going anywhere...

Have a great weekend y'all!

SGMKJ!